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After my husband was arrested on (removed by moderator) for assault and then released nfa for no evidence I actually got brave enough to speak to a solicitor. I’ve been (removed by moderator) and put in an application for a non mol and occupation order. For now, (at least) I feel good. I feel like a massive weight has been lifted off my chest and I can breathe again. I can go to work and for a coffee without having to answer to where I’ve been, who I’ve been with and how long it’s taken. I know I’ve got a hard time ahead but for now I just feel really, really good.
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Hi Anon211123,
Well done for striking whilst the iron is hot and applying for these the same week that he was released NFA from his arrest. You have clearly had enough and now mean business!
It’s always going to be disappointing when the police release them NFA, especially if you’ve taken the courage to finally call them after a long period of abuse. Unfortunately, when there are no independent witnesses to something and no other corroborating evidence, some offences come down to a 1 v 1 account and if the two accounts don’t match the police are not allowed to decide which one is telling the truth and run with it. In many cases, the individual officers involved will know who is telling the truth, but this is not the same as having hard evidence to support the truth. What the officers believe and what they can prove are not always the same thing!
Some advice I will offer you is to ensure that the Non Mol Order and the Occupation Order are both issued at the same time. If your solicitor can’t do the two at the same time then please be mindful that accepting the Non Mol Order whilst he is still living at the same address as you may not be beneficial to you in terms of protection for you. I would strongly recommend women NOT to take out Non Mol Orders when they are living in the same premises as their abuser as enforcing them is extremely difficult. If you would like more on this I am happy to PM you the reasons these often fail victims rather than help them.
Stay strong and stay empowered, you’re making progress to a life that will be free of abuse xx
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Thank you. He’s not been back to the house since he was arrested. I have no idea where he is and provided he stays away from me I don’t really care.
He’s had the papers served already as they managed to get hold of him on the phone and arrange to meet him. Were due in court (removed by moderator). In the meantime I will keep a key in the only door he can get in by so I know he won’t be waiting for me when I get back from work. He’s allowed to contact me about the kids but that’s it so far and I’m hoping it stays that way and he realises I’m serious this time. -
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yes, you mustn’t meet him, or have exchanges verbally/electronically with him for contact, use a contact centre or a family member/friend who can help out with this. Also, change your locks, don’t rely on a key in the door. Or add an extra lock. its also very easy to just change a barrel within a lock so you have a different key. It may be worth you putting up a spy hole with a camera in it and putting a notice on your door that visitors are on camera via the spy hole.
He needs to know he will get caught, and you will have easy evidence to hand over to the police.
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