Advice

[HopefulPretzel]

Hello. I am planning to leave in the autumn. What exactly do I need to do before I get out? Should I start consulting with a solicitor?

Thank you x

[KIP.]

Hi there, talk to your local women’s aid. Make a safe exit plan. Leaving an abuser is the most dangerous part for you so don’t tell him what you’re planning. Get some legal advice, most solicitors will offer a free initial consultation. Hide money with a trusted friend as you will be asked to declare your savings on separation (if you’re married). If there are kids involved it will take more planning. Get any important documents out with a friend. Get copies of bank accounts marriage certificate passports etc. You could consider having him removed instead of you leaving using an occupation order. If you’re in an abusive relationship autumn seems a long way away. Why not leave sooner before things get worse which they always do. We are good at talking ourselves out of leaving because of the abuse we have suffered we are fearful, feel guilty and obligated.

[HopefulPretzel]

Thank you for responding and offering such useful advice. No kids in the house. I am not working and have very little money of my own. No family or friends to help. I keep my head down and occupy myself as much as possible. Good idea to update the scanned documents. I have loads of files saved in secret. If it gets to be too much, I will consider leaving before the autumn. However, I live in a hotspot and I have to shield so combined with the finance problems there are few safe (COVID) options for me. I am retraining (online) and it finishes in the summer. There is a job at the end of this.

[Watersprite]

You have started the journey to freedom. All journeys begin with one step – keep moving forwards and reach out for support if needed

[HopefulPretzel]

Thank you xx

[Author]

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