Advice about going to court.

[Anonymous]

I’m going to court in a few weeks and dreading it. I have never been in one – (just the IDVA and witness support visit) and I’m worried about what kind of questions I’ll be asked by ‘his side’? I’ve asked for the screen/curtain to be removed or pulled away, as the police said its better for the jury if it’s not there? Is this true? Also I’m re doing my victim statement as it was an age ago when I last wrote it. I believe I’ll have to read it out? Again, the police said its better to do this? Is this true?
I’m scared I’ll cry, in fact I know I’ll cry and I feel small and vulnerable as if is without doing this too. I’m also dreading the press sitting there. Do I have to have them in? It all seems so scary, and I feel it’s a set up against me. He will be lying through his teeth but because of his ex job, he will come across as nice, innocent and convincing. His family believe him, some of his friends believe him, and they all believed him when he would hurt me (verbally , physically and psychologically) he would telephone them and say I’d hurt him! He would stay at their houses and say “I can’t take anymore etc etc” and cover up what he had done. His son and daughter saw my bruises and they knew, but they’ve stood by him. I feel this court appearance is all pitted against me ( or any DV victim) as he is controlling the situation. Am I right in feeling like this or am I getting worked up over nothing?

[undertherainbow]

I’ve been through this. I’ll be honest, it’s not easy. I did mine via video link and even though I tried my hardest I cried a lot. However afterwards I stood up and said to the usher I DID IT I ACTUALLY DID IT. It’s a good feeling standing up to them, you’re showing that enough is enough and I’m not taking your (removed by moderator) anymore!
Make sure you have a support system and you’ll be given breaks throughout if it gets too much. The prosecution will also requests breaks if they see you becoming upset.

It will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done but you can do it. If I could manage it then I’m sure anyone can. Be prepared for the aftermath, it can be an anticlimax and this is where I needed the most support (and still do).

Good luck and you can message me any time you want to chat or want some more advice from someone who very recently went through the same.

Lots of love to you. You’re stronger than you think. XX

[undertherainbow]

And yes they lie, boy do they lie! His lies didn’t even make sense in the end and the judge actually picked this out! He saw straight through him which was sooooo relieving. I was commended for being honest whereas he was shown to be a liar. The truth does prevail even if the outcome isn’t what you want. Don’t worry these court officials have dealt with every type of person and can see through manipulation and avoidance tactics.

xx

[Ayanna]

Judges can be dreadful.
Make sure you are well prepared.
Speak to Rights of Women about this too.
You can request the press to stay outside. I have no idea whether they will follow your request, but try to keep them out at least. A good person to tell this is the prosecutor.

Write a good victim impact statement.
You may not have to read it. The prosecutor can do this for you. Sometimes it is given to the judge to read at the end of the trial.

When you have a screen it is placed in such a way that the jury and the judge and prosecutor can see you, but not the perpetrator and his defending lawyer.

On my first hearing I decided to attend without the screen, because he sat behind a glass wall and I wanted him to see me and hear me. It was somehow empowering to say everything that I had to say and he could not beat me but was forced to listen to my words for the very first time.
However, I broke down after I left the court room.

His defense will ask you stupid questions for sure. For this reason prepare yourself well. Read your statement very well, remember everything what happened and prepare what you will say. You have to be consistent with your answers. This needs to be reflected in the victim impact statement too.

If you have been to hospital for injuries get the medical notes.
Get a GP statement about the impact of this trauma on you, if this is applicable.
Is there any charity that supports you? You can request statements from them too.

Do not worry about his lies. You will probably not hear them. All of them lie. They are all the same. Judges and jury know that they lie. The better you argue and the stronger your evidence the more he will loose.

You can do this! Even if the judge is lenient with the verdict, something will be on his CRB check forever.

Take good care of yourself. Do a lot of nice things and spoil yourself as the hearing comes up.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for you kind replies ladies. Sorry if I seem a but dim here 😳 But what kind of stupid questions are asked? How did you all cope with the stress of a court case?
Surely a judge is there to make sure the court runs well , not to place a witness under more stress and trauma?

What kind of things helped you through this aspect of the case?
My biggest fear is after the trial. I feel protected by the CPS and police at present but once that’s gone, I’m vulnerable. I really do feel he will finish me off next tine. 😔

[Ayanna]

On the day of the trial, tell the prosecutor you want a lifelong restraining order against him.

Does he know where you live?

[undertherainbow]

The judge in my case was fair and made me feel more comfortable. He even said don’t look so scared it’ll be OK!
The defence called me a liar, said I was making things worse for him. I stood my ground. I kept repeating I have no reason to lie, I loved this man. I was very angry with her, it made me question her morality with the line of work she chooses to do. However when I became upset she did back off and asked if I needed a moment.
They also like to deflect what happened and focus on other points, some of which didn’t even make sense to me? Accused of being jealous of his ex?? It’s just all lies fed from him.
And yes ask for an indefinite restraining order. I was granted one xx

[undertherainbow]

The judge also may ask questions. He had none for me but apparently had tons for my ex. He really went to town on him I was told afterwards. I coped with the support of my family and lots of medication, I previously had mental health issues though. This was heavily highlighted by the prosecution. I was extremely vulnerable when I met him and he takes a shine towards mentally ill women. Scumbag.
xx

[Anonymous]

Hi all, what a difference in court cases! (removed by moderator) . It sounds like a game? Do the defence say such things to appear fair? To show they’re doing their job? W*F? I would feel c**p being told I was lying. But my police officer did say my injuries will speak on there own from the hospital reports. (removed by moderator) 
Ayanna, yes he does know where I live. We have bought a flat together. It’s his address too but he’s had to live with family for now. That’s my worry.
I want to stay and listen to him lie. I want to hear his ‘ cronies/friends’ tell their lies too. I’m dreading it but I will make sure I contest any lies being told about me. Xx

[undertherainbow]

Sadly even though I had medical evidence they twisted it into something else! Be prepared for every dirty tactic. They really are sly. You’re completely right it IS a game and when I attended a hearing I heard both prosecution and defense talking in jest about the case. This left me SO angry thinking… this is just your job, this is my life. I don’t doubt you’ll be fine though. Mine was complex and included sexual crimes. Not sure if this is same for you.
Xx

[Anonymous]

All I can say is believe in yourself and read through your notes the night beforehand, no matter how painful it is to do so.
I’ve got to live with the consequences of losing faith in myself the week before court and being unable to give decent answers and I would hate for anyone else to be in my boat.

[KIP.]

I would definitely reconsider the screen, I think if I was on a jury as saw that the woman was so terrified she needed a screen or even a video link, I would be more influenced by that. Remember they’re not looking after your best interests. They just want a conviction, then you’re on your own.

[Ayanna]

If I were you I would move away.
I was put under pressure in the courts. They insisted that I lied. It was horrible.
The police had recordings. The judge did not care.
The crown court was better than the magistrate’s court I must say.

[feelinglost]

Hi Princess234
Remember to stick to the truth and if you are unsure of the question his barrister asks you ask them to repeat the question and take your time in answering their questions they will ask you similar questions to try and get you tell different answers and they will even ask a question wait for your response and tell you that that event didn’t happen they will even tell you are lying you know the truth and you are there to tell the truth. keep calm and just stick to the truth it is hard and it will be tough but this is your time to stand up to him and tell everyone what has happened and what he is truly like.

You will be okay stay strong and belive in yourself you are telling the truth he is lying and remember the judge and jury see people like them all the time and know what they are doing have faith. It’s okay to get upset and remember you can ask for a break if you need on, the judge may ask you if you get upset if you need to take a break.

Go over your statement and if you have a close family member or close friend ask them to ask you questions against your statement if you feel like you can if you don’t feel like you can then thats okay to just read through it.

Remember his defence/barrister are being paid by him they are there to do a a job it feels c**p and it doesn’t make it easier I know. I hope you have legal help if you have your barrister will be able to cross examine him and he will be caught out in his lies as it’s harder to remember the last lie and keep up the lie but you don’t you are telling truth your story.

Thinking of you its hard but you have come this far you are stronger than you think ! ask again for the screen it may make it easier as you won’t see him as your giving your evidence.

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone for your kind replies. I’m touched that you’ve taken the time and trouble to support me.
I won’t ge going to court now as my ex died.
I’m relieved, I’m sad, I’m free, I’m grieving, in fact I’m a bit all over the place.

I’ll stick around as I’d like to be able to support other ladies who are going through a rough time. You’ve all helped me so much, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Princess X X X X

[KIP.]

Good to have you back x

[Anonymous]

Thanks KIP. Xx

[Author]

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