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So I posted earlier about my ex leaving the property and signing it over to me. Locks are being changed so he can’t gain access should he feel he wants to. The refuge that I was going to go to rang me late this evening and advised that although everything is sorted now because I scored high on a risk assessment then they have to send it over to my local DV unit to offer extra support now I have left the relationship. They said the police will be informed and a marker will be put on my house in case he ever tries to turn up to cause trouble. They also said something about my case going to MARAC. I’m not sure what that is only that it is a group of people looking at the case and deciding what is best. I am so scared that SS will get involved. I’ve posted on here before about people telling me horror stories about SS. I don’t want them to place my daughter in the care of anyone else whilst they assess my case. Can anyone advise me if this is likely to happen or if they have had any experience with a MARAC before please?
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Hi, I have a MARAC in place. Honestly please dont worry. I remember I freaked out when they said as I had no idea what it was. Basically you should be assigned an independent domestic violence advocate (Idva) who will ring you and give you advise and you can tell her what you are worried over. For me this is the ex showing up. They ensured a marker on address. She’s given me advise regarding what to ask for with solicitor and can send out personal safety alarms. I am sure as you have left the relationship there will be no need for social services. I had an initial telephone call from them and told them what my plan was. E.g leaving him and ensuring supervised contact only and that was it. My Idva reports back from MARAC but so far they have just recommended marker stays in place so please dont worry. X
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Hiya, thankyou so much for your reply. This has put my mind at ease. I had literally no idea what MARAC is until just now! When I asked the refuge they just said about the marker so if he tries to turn up to cause trouble then the police will be there quickly which is a good thing to have in place. They didn’t mention about SS, it was only until after that I thought about it then started worrying. Ah that makes sense, they said someone will be calling me next week so I assume that’s the IDVA person? I read up online that they represent you at the MARAC meeting. locks are being changed asap so I hope they see that I’m doing everything to keep my daughter safe. X
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Social services only want to keep your kids safe. The idea that they are basically child snachers is very much propagated by abusers, but they really aren’t. And they aren’t controlled by our abusers either, much as they like to pretend they are. If you are high risk, have police markers on the house, DV workers involved, and have left your abuser then SS will basically just be doing all they can to make sure you and your daughter stay safe. It’s a bit different if you stay with your abuser as I think sometimes SS can get involved to get the kids out even if the woman isn’t ready to leave if the kids are in danger – but that absolutely isn’t the case for you so try not to worry about it.
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