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I left my ex’-husband before coercive and controlling behaviour became legally recognised as abusive. He’s made my life hell since, keeping the family home I helped pay in to and forcing the children and i to move out with nothing, paying minimal maintenance despite a really good promotion and convincing close frienss I was mentally ill, to the extent I felt I needed to move from my hometown with my children. He then worked on the children, telling them mummy had taken them away from their home and people who lived them, when I got a job he told the children it must be so hard with mummy putting them in childcare, he went on so much my children cried about it and I quit my job. I got cancer and he tried to take my children away but didn’t manage to. After cancer I mmoved again to be closer to family. While there I met my youngest child’s father. He is many types of abusive and I have ended up going into a refuge. Ex-husband and his wife used it as an opportunity to launch a legal campaign to get main custody of my older children. They paid a very ecpensive law firm. On had no representation and wasn’t in a good place mentally. They moved fast and have won main custody. My children are devastated because three being told lies, like we want your mum to share care of you but she won’t move back. It’s not true, I want to have my children half the time and will only move back to a place people think I’m crazy if I get my children half the fime. They say it doesn’t work like that, that they’ll agree contact once I move there. It feels like a trap. I’ve just been offered a flat where I am and I was starting to get my head around things but now I feek like I’ve been selfish and its my fault. Like in letting my chuldregn down. Any thoughts or advics would help so much
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Hi Squeakycheese
Thank your for your post. I am sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like your ex-husband may be using the children to try to continue the abuse against you.
The next step may be to get some legal advice before you decide whether to move. You could speak to Rights of Women on 020 7251 6577 or Coram Children’s Legal Centre 0300 330 5480.
If you haven’t already, you could also get some support from your local Domestic Violence Service https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/
Take care and keep posting to let us know how you are doing.
Lisa
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