22nd February 2016 at 11:26 am #10197luluParticipant
I was on this site a year ago. After my partner pit me in hospital for the last time. Well I wasn’t strong enough and take him back. Only after he had angry management and I seen a change in him. But its but about (removed by moderator) since I let him back and since then he has had a few episodes of violence. And I still mentally abusing me. Advice I need is I’m in a council property its in my name. He works and wont let me tell the council he is here as he wants all his money to him self. If I ask him to leave I know he will tell the council he has been staying here and I’m so worried that I be in big trouble for not telling them. His told me he will tell the council and Il get kicked out and have to pay all the money back and as ill have no home or money he will take our son who is (removed by moderator) old. This morning he was going out and as it was the oneoening he was supposed to get up with our son he woke me up and mad me leave with him 5 minutes later. I’m mpt well and having constant test at the doctors he doesn’t understand I needed to sleep so broke a few things around the house and forced me with him. As he thought id callr the police. I managed to get him to believe I wasn’t going to and he let me go back home. I’m now sat here crying again because of him. So any advice on what I could do regarding the housing would be great thank you
22nd February 2016 at 12:30 pm #10201Confused123Participant
The fear these men put in us is indescribable, I would call womens aid and get advise of them , why does it matter that he was living with u, is it cause u have said its only you and your child, just explain to the council that he lives on and off and u never declared as he then moves out , this guy is breaking u down mentally, mine did the same u get to point where u can think straight, report the abuse to gp, start loggin it down , womens aid will be able to advise u accordingly
22nd February 2016 at 11:12 pm #10236DaisyParticipant
He’s using this to blackmail you so you don’t get him to leave,
As it’s your name only on the tenancy if you don’t want him there and ask him to leave and he doesn’t you can call the police and they will remove him.
If you got benefit to cover your rent, despite him being your partner and living with you for a time this will be overpaid housing benefit at worse and not rent arrears, so it won’t mean you lose your home at all.
i understand it is a worry, and you were and are in a unsettling position, perhaps he won’t carry through his threat? You know him best, but this blackmail is only part of his abuse and control and it seems to be escalating lulu,depriving you of your sleep and rest is so cruel too,
Sending you a hug
X x x
23rd February 2016 at 12:51 am #10249AyannaParticipant
First of all remove his things. Keep them at a minimum. Tooth brushes, razors, shoes … are suspicious.
What he says does not matter.
You can report him for forcing you to live with him and you do not want him there. He is more or less a burglar if you do not want him in your place.
Ask Rights of Women, they have lawyers to answer all your questions, and you do not need to tell them who you are. Use their call back function, otherwise you cannot get through.
You can also tell the council that he blackmails you and forces you to let him live with you and you are so scared and fear for your life and do not know what to do to get rid of him. Trust me, they will get rid of him fast. If this has been going on let’s say for a few months, then nothing will happen to you, as far as I know.
He walks on thin ice and he only plays with your anxiety.
You have the better cards.
Make a good plan and show him who the boss is.
Stay safe. x*x
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