- This topic has 9 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 9 months ago by
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Absolutely total zero direct contact. Use a third party, give them an old mobile phone to text if you have kids together. But any contact is toxic and used against you.
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Abusers often really get the knives out, post separation. If you have children together, they may do their damnest to destroy the lives of the children as well, just to get back at you.
Please seek advice from your local Women’s Aid for support during this difficult time. If you ever feel in any danger, report to police. Although they may not be able to do anything, at least it’s part of their history, when eventually, hopefully, things change.
Zero contact means exactly that. Please don’t respond to anything directly, if at all. Instead, work on yourself. Many charities offer trauma based counselling which you may find helpful.
Abusers don’t stop until either they’re dead, or they’re stopped. They’ll move onto the next person, and we don’t want to be in their sights.
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Yes, it’s horrible being triggered. You’re responding in a normal way to trauma. Hopefully therapy will help you to find ways to lessen the impact.
My ex husband has been poking around in my family. His poor wife. She will have no idea.
Getting support is so important. We can rebuild. They can’t. Hurrah for us!
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This sounds pernicious and really difficult to tackle.
Whilst there is still a connection they will use it to try and hurt you. It’s difficult to comment without knowing how he is managing to abuse you.
If its an offence please report him. If he’s getting to you through other people, please make them aware of how he is using them.
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