- This topic has 9 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 9 months ago by Wispatea.
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22nd July 2022 at 3:29 pm #147332WispateaParticipant
How do people deal with abuse after separation? he’s tried so much but now (detail removed by Moderator)…
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22nd July 2022 at 6:10 pm #147337KIP.Participant
Absolutely total zero direct contact. Use a third party, give them an old mobile phone to text if you have kids together. But any contact is toxic and used against you.
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22nd July 2022 at 8:55 pm #147346maddogParticipant
Abusers often really get the knives out, post separation. If you have children together, they may do their damnest to destroy the lives of the children as well, just to get back at you.
Please seek advice from your local Women’s Aid for support during this difficult time. If you ever feel in any danger, report to police. Although they may not be able to do anything, at least it’s part of their history, when eventually, hopefully, things change.
Zero contact means exactly that. Please don’t respond to anything directly, if at all. Instead, work on yourself. Many charities offer trauma based counselling which you may find helpful.
Abusers don’t stop until either they’re dead, or they’re stopped. They’ll move onto the next person, and we don’t want to be in their sights.
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23rd July 2022 at 8:23 pm #147425WispateaParticipant
We have no contact this is through other avenues…He is with someone else and I am having therapy. This just sent me into a complete spiral.
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23rd July 2022 at 10:07 pm #147439maddogParticipant
Yes, it’s horrible being triggered. You’re responding in a normal way to trauma. Hopefully therapy will help you to find ways to lessen the impact.
My ex husband has been poking around in my family. His poor wife. She will have no idea.
Getting support is so important. We can rebuild. They can’t. Hurrah for us!
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23rd July 2022 at 11:23 pm #147447WispateaParticipant
Thank you. I feel like I won’t ever be rid of him. His girlfriend has been warned…
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24th July 2022 at 9:25 am #147464EggshellsParticipant
This sounds pernicious and really difficult to tackle.
Whilst there is still a connection they will use it to try and hurt you. It’s difficult to comment without knowing how he is managing to abuse you.
If its an offence please report him. If he’s getting to you through other people, please make them aware of how he is using them.
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24th July 2022 at 6:52 pm #147506WispateaParticipant
Thank you. I put above how and it was removed. It seems harmless but it really is not.
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24th July 2022 at 6:53 pm #147507WispateaParticipant
We have children together so will always be something I guess. However, we are no contact…
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