3rd February 2016 at 5:21 pm #8957lilbbysproutParticipant
Lately I’ve been struggling with the most intense anxiety I’ve ever experienced in my life and I’m having a hard time figuring out how to cope with it. I left an abusive/violent relationship where my partner tried to kill me three months ago and moved back home three days ago, so I am only just beginning to process what happened. Everyday I wake up and walk around feeling like I am constantly on a verge of a panic attack, or continuously in the state of panicking. My chest/stomach are always tight, I’m always a little shaky, and I feel emotionally afraid of everything. It makes it hard to leave the house, or to talk to other people because there’s always fear in my gut no matter how much I try to ignore it. It’s paralyzing.
In it’s worst moments, I feel like the whole world is closing in on me and like I’m NEVER going to get better or EVER feel anything but anxiety/despair/depression EVER again. I know that’s not logically correct but I can’t stop it.
Does anyone else experience this? Am I crazy? Does it ever get better? I can’t make sense of it all and I’m really struggling to feel safe.
3rd February 2016 at 5:33 pm #8958SavingmyselfParticipant
It’s still early days and you have been through a lot som be very gentle with your self . So glad you are home for now safe with your family
You are not crazy and it is very common to feel like this after trauma
Please Make an Apt with your Gp and explain what you have been through and how you are feeling now and see what help they can give you
Keep posting on here for support as we can all understand the crazy feeling after being with an abuser
Big hugs for you x*x
3rd February 2016 at 9:05 pm #8981Falling SkysParticipant
Well done for posting I can only agree with what savingmyself says, have you a WA support worker they are a life saver.
I have flash backs reliving past experiences and its horrid. I am still with my abuser to the house sales and I have a feeling it will get worse when I don’t live in constant high alert.
Our minds are very complex and for us to cope it hides things away even from us, but then it has an over load and everything spills out. It will improve in time.
Hugs and stay strong
4th February 2016 at 11:15 pm #9062I want to break freeParticipant
You are not mad at all. You are reacting normally to an abnormal situation. It is such early days for you. I expect your head is spinning. When we have been in a state of high alert for a long time it takes our bodies along time to respond to the change in circumstance so you will still have all the fight or flight hormones flying round your body. Your mind has not had a chance to process much yet and it must feel quite overwhelming.
Be gentle with yourself do lots of things to relax, exercise can be good to burn the adrenaline if you are able to – a gentle walk is enough. BE gentle with yourself….. recovery takes time.
I can really relate to your description of the world closing on you. Do you remember those films when someone is in a room and the walls start moving inwards? When I am anxious I feel like the walls are closing in-in my head and I find it hard to think.
I have been out for a while now and the anxiety does ease – it is not so intense now but it does still come and go and I have good days and bad days but I have more good days than bad days now.
Thanks for posting. I hope you will be feeling better soon and able to enjoy being safe.
5th February 2016 at 1:15 pm #9094newlife2015Participant
Firstly – well done for making the break – I know it probably doesn’t feel like it at the moment but, speaking from experience, you WILL feel better – it just takes time for your body to process all the things that have happened as you couldn’t do this while y6ou lived with your abuser – you were just getting through each day the best you could!
My advice would be to speak to your GP, maybe about some anti-anxiety medications, counselling or other. Read up on the subject online and via books and there are also some really useful CDs and apps around that can help relax and ground you – making you think about the now rather than worrying about everything that has happened and could happen. For about six months after I moved out I suffered from regular panic attacks, palpitations – I was prescribed 10mg (then 20mg) of citrolopram which has really reduced my anxiety symptoms, so much so, that I almost feel like the old me. I am not saying that I don’t get some days where I feel very anxious still (for no good reason) but all in all I can cope with the day, think clearly, am less forgetful etc etc. Sorry to ramble I just wanted to let you know that time does heal (even if you need a little help along the way – there is no shame asking for it. Well done and good luck xxxx
11th February 2016 at 12:50 am #9502lilbbysproutParticipant
@ I want to break free: Thank you for taking the time out to write such a thoughtful response. I feel very validated by your words and find comfort in your reassurance. I have been taking walks just to quiet places in nature nearly every day this past and that type of calm can be just enough to take the edge off for awhile. Some gentle yoga may help too. Thank you again for sharing your own experience and offering support. I appreciate your words. 🙂
@Newlife2015: Thank you to you as well for writing out such a thoughtful response. I have been thinking about confronting my GP about anxiety medication although unfortunately as I transition into living at home again and insurance kicking in, I’ll be without one for a few weeks. Anxiety medications make me nervous because in the past, they’ve made me feel too spacey. But perhaps there could be a gentle medium I could find. I am happy you were able to find a medication that worked for you, truly. 🙂 It must feel like such a relief. Don’t be sorry to ramble, your words also validate me too and make me feel comforted. I honor your truth, thank you for sharing.
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