not guilty does not mean it did not happen

[hopeful]

Hi everyone

I posted on here sometime ago about something horrific my ex did to me, and everyone was so helpful & the kind words helped me to see a bit of sense.

It was the trial (removed by moderator) after what happened which finished (removed by moderator)  and i just wanted to vent about how victims are treated within the court system. I was cross examined for what felt like hours and the whole experience of going to court was just really traumatic. I didnt know that the court system is a bit of a pantomime, i thought ii would go and just tell the truth but instead I was painted to be some crazy liar. It killed me to know he was behnd the curtain when I was giving my evidence hearing everything he did and how it made me feel and he didn’t stop and just admit what he had done. Before, i didnt really care what happened RE guilty or not guilty however to find out at the end of it that he got away with it destroyed me. I cant believe that it lterally is now a case that if someone did not see it happen, they cant be convicted, also other things were ruled which i think impacted the jurys verdict but i am probably not allowed to talk about it on here.

I just feel so let down, I can honestly see why people dont tell the police, giving evidence in court was so horrific i feel like i am back to where I was (removed by moderator)  ago. Also its so difficult to see him gloating about it on social media etc. (Removed by moderator) . I also think jurys in domestic violence cases need some kind of training on how these people come accross, the police said he was really charming and apologetic when (removed by moderator) pages of threatening text messages were read out – he never apologised to me which hurts and i think it just shows its all a big farse, plus they always are really skilled liars!

Anyway, sorry i just needed to rant!

[Anonymous]

Sending you big hugs. Not guilty is frustrating outcome however like you said it doesnt mean it did not happen. You were there you know what happened and I hope you will be able to strive on forward in the future and never look back. (Removed by moderator). You are a strong woman and well done for going through it. I have one coming up and knowing that your strenght got you through will also help me get through. Sending love x

[KIP.]

Hi there, I went through the horrors of court and have since been campaigning for a change in the law. My experience really gave me a passion for changing the system. It has helped me a lot. The law is an a*s! You stood upto your abuser, you held him accountable. Let him spout his rubbish. People know there is no smoke without fire! And it was a very brave and courageous thing you did which will inspire other women too. I agree about training Jurys and even judges often just don’t get it! You will pick yourself up from this and be a stronger person for it. Victims voices can change the system and attitudes. My local Victim Support were great and I’ve spoken to MPs in parliament to try and change things. Keep moving forward. He will always be a loser X

[Happybean]

No it most certainly doesn’t. My ex was arrested but not charged. I was told he was upset at my allegations, and I should think about his job!!! Hmm, he didn’t think about me, when he raped me and throttled me.
I was in bits, after the last rape and assault. I made a formal complaint and received an apology a while later when I was stronger. It doesn’t change things, but I know I was treated badly by the system and my ex. And I didn’t give a statement about the rapes and that side of things. I’m in a better place now, but if he ever comes back to hurt me again, I will make full statements about that and be able to back it up with medical evidence from hospital treatment.
What got to me most of all was that my ex had a previous conviction with a prior girlfriend (I hadn’t know when I met him), the police had no record of this, even though I went to court with him, after we’d been together a while (yes I know – I should have ran for the hills – but I was in full love bomb mode and very quickly pregnant). My ex used to boast about how clever he was to get away with the more serious offences that he had committed. He said they couldn’t get me for x, so they got me for z. He would have been the same about me.
I know he did it all, and so did he. And I like to think at some point it will all catch up with him. I don’t have set beliefs, but really hope there is a pathway when we die. He’s got it coming bad:)

[Ayanna]

So sorry! This system gets worse. Since the orange patriarch over the see was elected women gradually loose all their rights in the northern hemisphere.

The abuser who raped me got away with that too. I needed two operations due to the rape injuries, it was not enough evidence for that going to court by itself.

The suffragettes need to take action again.

[Confused123]

Hi Ladies

Totally agree with u all , the courts and police def need training on dealing with domestic violence and abuse, these abusers think they can say no comments or prove it and get away with it, we as victims get questioned more then the abusers , the abusers have no shame at all, i hope us lot supporting each another and still speaking up still and reporting them is sending a message

[Author]

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