Again

[Teatoast]

I didn’t realise how terrified I was until today. He tried to pressure me to sleep with him again, I wasn’t in the mood. He stood up out of his chair and the first thing I did was begged him not to hit me.

He called me stupid, an animal a disgrace to women and packed my bags and tried to throw me out the door whilst I stood in tears. He told me I can stay if I sort myself out.

Feel so lost.

[KIP.]

Can you ring the helpline number on here or get in touch with your local womens aid? You need help to escape domestic abuse. We minimise their behaviour and thats what ultimately gets us badly hurt. Never underestimate the depths they will sink to. Can you speak to your GP?

[Teatoast]

Hi Kip,

Thank you, I don’t think I would be able to talk to someone over the phone or face to face. I’m worried about the judgement.

I will be okay, thank you for the message though x

[KIP.]

Hey, nobody will judge you. Some of the ladies on the helpline have been in your position. I kept quiet for decades because of shame and fear but only when i found the courage to speak up did i get the help i deserved. I even phoned in the beginning but couldnt speak. It takes time to build up to asking for help. Keep posting on here mesntime x you deserve better ❤️

[Anonymous]

Hi Teatoast I was in the same position of fear for years, him using force by threats to perform sexualy, he was vile & I had to tread on eggshells 24/7, lived in fear of his never ending bullying tactics, which got intense & daily. Ring the helpline, get all the help you possibly can to get away from this, I kept thinking it will get better, he won’t keep doing this. He for years made me feel I was not good enough, like he must hate me to be so cruel, I felt worthless, helpless, useless, weak. Gave up the will to live. PLEASE DON’T THINK IT IS OK no one should live in fear and you definitely should not feel pressurised into having sex with someone who is abusing you so badly. I know it is easier said than done to be brave enough to tell someone what is actually happening, but PLEASE do. Your GP or a trusted friend, women’s aid helpline. I lived in emotional hell over a decade, he weakened me so badly that now away and because I left it way way to long am now struggling so much to regain control over my own life. The ladies on here are wonderful and we all understand what it feels like to be abused, reach out, let it out & you are not alone, even though it feels like you are & that no one will understand, we all do. Thoughts with you, stay strong, don’t let him destroy you, You are worth so much more than to be treated in this way xx

[Ayanna]

Please leave this monster.
What a rapist!
Leave him and never look back.

[Author]

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