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    • #16092
      Ribena
      Participant

      Hello everyone
      I’ve been away from posting on the site for a while, but still reading. An incident last night while I was driving on a motorway has shaken me to the core. He was drunk after a family event, and started with his usual – i wish you’d die, hate you, b**ch, stupid, etc, with the kids in the car. One was asleep the other watching a film when he threw a punch at me while I was driving at about 80mph in the middle lane of the motorway. It didn’t connect with my face and I don’t think that was his intention (he has never hit me before) but I did jolt my head away to the right in defence. I was in control of the car at all times but I hate to think what could have been. His intention was to intimidate and frighten which it certainly did. I pulled over at the next services and told him to get out or I was calling the police. He refused, one of the children were asking what was going on so I didn’t. He was saying its your word against mine, I didn’t do anything and if you do there will be a custody war. I really regret not calling the police now. I’m furious – how dare he put my kids at risk.

      I’m just wondering now if I can contact the Highways Agency to see if the incident may have been caught on motorway cameras. I think it’s extremely unlikely but I wonder if any of you have any knowledge? Thank you x

    • #16098

      Hi, i dont think you will be able to catch it on CCTV, no harm in trying. But what are you going to do about him, he sounds scary & intimidating, sorry to hear about your experience. X

    • #16106
      Serenity
      Participant

      Hi Ribena,

      He could have got you all killed. Take this as a warning.

      Physical abuse is often the last form of abuse to appear. It can then start to escalate.

      My ex used to be dreadful in the car.

      There is no harm in asking if the highway people have proof, but in any case, I would be so careful of this man. He is out of control.

    • #16114
      Confused123
      Participant

      HI Hun

      So sorry for what u experienced, my ex used to do this all the time hitting me whilst i used to drive , punching me from behind the head even if he was sitting at back , throwing my head forward, smashing the car, im telling u this cause this is how bad they get, not sure if it would get recorded by highways, when they do this always pull over till they calm down and refuse to drive until u know they wil be calm, i would report to police what he did , till the police are not involved they carry on . Sending u hug, u must be really shaken up i know i used to be

    • #16135
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi there, you should ask him about it and record what he says as evidence. Then report him to the police. Mine used to drive very fast to scare me, even with our child in the car. They just don’t care. They don’t consider the consequences, they just want to abuse no matter what the cost. Now you will be scared to drive with him in the car. Making you even more anxious. It’s designed to control. Mine used to belittle my driving. Go mad if I missed a turning (which he was too late in telling me), shout at me etc until I wouldn’t drive, leaving him in charge. Even as a navigator it was my fault if he got lost. Awful. There’s something about being trapped in a car with these abusers. Makes them feel they’ve got you trapped there. Dangerous idiots x

      • #16136
        Whathaveidone
        Participant

        KIP, I can relate to the navigator bit. Mine has terrible road rage and always asks me for directions and to direct him – refuses to use navigation on google maps. He will scream at me when I tell him I don’t know, or for missing a turning, or for not being quick enough. I hate being in a car with him.

    • #16138
      KIP.
      Participant

      Whathaveidone, it’s just another form of abuse. It’s easy to abuse us when we are stuck next to them. We can’t walk away. Any excuse. Even if you get the directions right, they will move the goal posts and find something else, like as you said, not being quick enough. I hated him being in the car. It was a horrendous nightmare when he’d been drinking. It totally sapped my confidence. I still don’t drive places I haven’t been before on my own. The mental damage is subtle but debilitating x

    • #16146
      Serenity
      Participant

      Mine used to physically change the gears and put on the indicator whilst I was driving.

    • #16163
      Ribena
      Participant

      Thank you all for replying. I honestly don’t know what to do next. Is there really any point reporting it to the police – what can they do when it’s his word against mine? He will never admit it. The one time I called the police on a 999 it took them over half an hour to arrive and they sent two men – one of whom was really quite dismissive so I’ve not much faith. I told him last night I will never get in a car with him again, and I mean it. I’m documenting all the abuse but I’ve no idea how much water this holds if we end up in court – does anyone know?

    • #16165
      KIP.
      Participant

      Documenting the abuse helps. The police took note of mine. I secretly recorded on my phone. If you can do it safely. Record his abuse. It’s good evidence he can’t deny. If it goes to court expect no mercy from him. My ex dragged his son and I through hell for (detail removed by Moderator) months then he was found guilty anyway. But he still minimises it. Deny and lie till you die. That’s their motto.

    • #16166
      Millionpieces
      Participant

      Hi,
      Remind me how I hate to be in the car with him.
      Get as much proof as possible, they do lie till they die. They will never confess or admit anything in their life

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