Al-Anon meeting

[Bridget Jones Is Free]

I go and attend a meeting weekly.
A friend of mine who is a counsellor had noticed I displayed the exact same reactions of an adult child of alcoholic parent(s), which I am.
Last night was horrendous. It was a full house so to speak. A couple was recommended to attend, two daughters self harming, sex addicts, alcoholic, narcotics users, suicidal etc. Yet they held their heads high using their sense of dignity, I would rather call it courage and resilience.
Horrendous stories of life at home or in treatment homes. Some are £4000 per week…they can’t afford sums of that nature, so it’s back to dealing with it all themselves.
I tell my stories, I hear OMG, I see horror in their eyes, sighs of indignation, fear for my safety. I am laughing to myself, denial.
I came back late and my daughter had more to say about her dad. Not nice. Psychological abuse of my children done by their dad. While I am away, he wants pity, he tells them no one cares for him, my son apparently replied “I do!”
I have started making notes, words rather than sentences, about what goes on so I can dialogue with the family psychotherapist. My daughter often cries, feels down. My other children cope, however i am watching, i am on the look out for anything abnormal, upsetting, i observe, analyse, in high alert mode.
He drank again last night.
We read a general pamphlet about alcoholism. I felt like bursting. That’s my childhood and early adulthood in a nutshell, my life in fact. From one alcoholic to the next, plus the abuse.

It hits home. I often want to shout to the therapist, to use him as a punch bag…tell him everything.
He is the best person i have met in decades.

I have to save my kids. The sooner the better.

[Jupiter]

Hi Bridget

You are already working hard to improve life for you and your children and takes a lot of strength to do what you are doing .Life will get better in time :you are attending the meeting regularly and seeing your therapist-thats a lot.Many people would be scared to make these choices but you have the courage to go out and get a better life for yourself.
Great you get on with the therapist.You know you can trust this person to help you so that is a great stairway out of your present life.Stay with him and let him help you.No one can do this work alone.We cant struggle alone.
I had to learn that we cant change other people but can change our own lives.
Making notes shows that you are determined to make the therapy work for you so that you and your kids can find some peace.Writing provides relief.
Take care and dont give up.
Jupiter x

[Serenity]

It’s a great development that you can recognise the links, the similar scenarios, and can look objectively at your reactions. This means that you are in a strong place, Bridget.

Keep on getting the support and confronting those demons that threaten to haunt you. Fight them all, and overcome them. Xx

[Author]

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