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How was everyones xmas?
My favourite time of year when all my kids are with me and I love it but this year he was fowl the worst he has ever been and I hated every single second and i am heart broken.
He was nasty took swipes at me at every chance he could did nothing but moan the atmoshere was horrendous and still is he wants sex thats what it is and i feel like im going to have to give in.
I hate myself but i cant take anymore ive lost all hope ive lost everything i feel done. -
Horrible, horrible, horrible :(. That sounds awful and I’m sorry that’s happened for you. Where do their tiny brains go that we could possible want sex when they are so very vile.
Is there any way you can harness your “done” energy in to leaving or doing something different?
They make us feel this way and totally despondent. -
I just cant see a way out a way to leave. It all just seems hopeless im stuck frozen and he knows it.
The atmosphere is horrendous here and i know the only way would be to give him sex but that makes me feel worthless dissapointed in myself angry with myself for allowing him to get to me that way. Its all just hopeless x -
So sorry nbumblebee, he’s a horrible man you don’t deserve this treatment
Wish I could give you a big hug xx
I wonder if we’ve both had a rubbish Christmas , and andding Tonit we are also more aware and seeing it all now too, making it harder? I have been thinking this.
I’ve had one of the worst Christmas too. Been wondering if it was me but (detail removed by Moderator) of my children have all had altercations too.
Love and strength to you x*x
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I can understand you giving in, you are doing what it takes to survive which makes you so stronge of a woman.
There is always a way but it might mean a long long road of planning.
I planned with my woman’s aid worker of nearly 3 years. I did take baby steps as I was so scared but you can do it and will find a way.
Do you have a worker? -
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So sorry to hear this, they truly ruin everything. What would happen if you used that inner strength to say No? It’s scary, but it’s scary now living like this but saying no could maybe give you an ounce of control back? He’ll tantrum eitherway. As already said, we do what we have to to survive, but there’s always another option and as you know giving in doesn’t make them better, it makes your life a little sadder each time x
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Another day ruined by his nasty mood kids have gone back home now and he is still flicking from nasty to nice as he wants sex.
Its like he starts on me then remembers that he wants it so shuts up. Im so tired and low it feels impossible to do anything at all. Sorry i shouldnt keep moaning i know i shouldnt xx -
It isn’t at all moaning. It is all consuming and this is a safe place to vent and share to get yourself through it all xx
It’s awful when you see their patterns and know that the nice is so they can get something back from you rather than a true niceness where one might actually want to physically engage with them. The nastiness is such a turn off. It leaves you in a quandary. I’m fairly certain we have all been there with doing it when we don’t really want to or, me anyway, falling for the kindness again and thinking everything’s back on track when 5 mins after they just revert to being awful again. Then you’re mad that you fell for it!! -
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It is really hard and feels impossible at times. You’re here and you’re showing up for yourself which is an amazing start and takes more strength than anyone can know.
Everyone’s challenges are so unique and there’s no simple answers even though there are many similarities in the behaviour patterns.
In a previous relationship I phoned women’s aid just to chat with them about what had happened and they were brilliant. It wasn’t that I needed them to do anything, but the listening was incredible and there was support if I needed it. Worth a call even for the chat x -
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