All the games

[Lavenderrose]

I can’t cope with this. He’s not paid maintenance. He’s decided on an amount, pays when he decides and has already halved it! He changes when he pays and now he’s not paid at all. I’ve had to bring up about it face to face, his response was yes i’ll Pay just need to work out the amount. I mean really?? He’s not paying enough as it is! So I’ve contacted him to ask again and no response.
So fed up of all of this! Are all fathers like this? Are all men like this?
I know what I need to do and I will contact child maintenance but I was hoping I wouldn’t have to. Where will all of this end??
How did I ever come into contact with so a vile piece of work?!

[Fudgecake]

I’m afraid to say that this is not uncommon. I even experienced sporadic child maintenance payments and finally no payment at all…
And this was from a non abusive ex!
I’d get advice on this to see how you go forward and possibly pin him down to a more regular and formal arrangement.

[KIP.]

These men won’t do anything unless they’re made to. Save yourself time and energy and involve the child maintenance now. Does he have a regular job and income or is he self employed? He wants to control you with the money. He knows it’s something he can have you running to contact him and that’s his goal so legal contact agreement and child maintenance agreement cuts down direct contact. The sooner you claim the sooner they can chase him as I’m not sure that they will backdate your claim.

[Lavenderrose]

I certainly cannot carry on like this. I will contact them and see how far I get. The more I think about our relationship the more I realise that there is no difference to how he treats me now to how treated me back then! Why didn’t I see this?? Just awful!

[Oliverainbow]

My ex did the same thing. He hadnt paid any maintenance since last year and every time I brought it up he claimed he didnt have the money. I did my Child Maintenance application and he didnt respond to any their communications. Even though they set a payment date he still hasn’t paid. Child Maintenance seem quite on the ball as he has a few more days to pay through Direct Pay and if not, it will be switched to Collect and Pay. Not sure how much further they can go as hes self employed and I’m sure hes fiddled his books. I wish I would have applied earlier and at least it’s out of my hands as I dont have to deal with him directly about maintenance. It’s just another form of control they use. Stay strong and I would make the application to get peace of mind and they will backdate to the time you call in. X

[Lavenderrose]

He’s paid which is obviously a weight off my mind but my worry is that if I go via child maintenance could I end up with even less??
He’ll more than likely be p****d that I’ve done it and lie about his finances. Can they hide true earnings? He’s self employed but I know what his rate is and he generally prefers to be on someone’s books.
He barely speaks or even gives eye contact when we do handovers which is good but also a bit unnerving if I’m honest! I never know what to expect when he appears. X

[Author]

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