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Leave, leave as soon as it’s safe to. Never go back.
It’s been almost (detail removed by moderator) since I first joined the site and left my abusive ex partner.
I remember it all… The lies, the gaslighting, the abuse, the lack of confidence. Little did I know back then that these things would then give me the motivation and power to leave, and make me more aware of the signs to look out for to avoid the situation again.
But, I saw him, a month later. He had turned up to a live band that he knew I loved. I took a trustworthy friend with me and she stayed with me all night. What was amusing was that he had turned up alone – clearly no one wanted to go with him. He stood near the female toilets… of course nature called. It was liberating to walk past, with a smile on my face and my head held high. I was me again. I was not the scared and quiet person he had tried to break me into. He had always called me fat and made comments about my appearance, however it was him that had ended up looking like a wreck. Not me.
(detail removed by moderator) later and he is still known to stalk where he thinks I still work… But I moved job and county recently for new career prospects.
I’m now happily engaged and planning my wedding with a wonderful and supportive person. And, although we have falling outs over washing up etc (like normal couples), they are no where near the war zone I had experienced with my ex. I still suffer with anxiety and depression after leaving my ex, but my new partner supports me. He doesn’t know the details of my past, but he’s happy knowing that I am happy now.
I’m finally myself again.
Moving into a career where I can help others and starting my Masters this year. We have our own home, with a lot of boxes still to sort, and we adopted a dog. Our dog used to have abusive owners and suffers with anxiety, she’s like a fluffy version of me and we help each other on those bad days.
I know there are still so many people existing in abusive relationships. I came here (detail removed by moderator) ago for help and felt helpless, confused and beaten. I though about going back. I am so glad I didn’t.
It was a difficult time, but the best decision I ever made. If I hadn’t have left, I don’t even know if I would be here now. I struggled for a while because I was so used to someone telling me what to do. Then I realised that I could do whatever I wanted. I supported myself by giving myself time to do little things without rushing. Simple things like watching a movie or having a cup of tea.
Leave, leave as soon as it’s safe to. Never go back. Never look back. Your life is yours. Don’t give up on you.
Talk to us. Talk to family or friends that you trust. Seek help (from a GP for example).
Freedom is an empowering feeling. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself.
You have a bravery that others don’t and you CAN do this!
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Love this Oneday, everything about it! I am the same with my cat, I adopted her from a shelter and she is very anxious about a lot of things and we support eachother 🙂
It is wonderful to hear about your progress and how your life has turned around. Thanks for sharing, keep going, you have a lot to be proud of.
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