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Hi I’ve been saving money for months. I am finally getting to see houses. My abuser is power and control. For example (detail removed by moderator) he didnt interact with my children for more than (detail removed by moderator). I am worried that the house is in both our names and he cant afford it if I leave but he will never go. I’ve never got this far as I dont want to ruin my kids lives. But I live with someone who lies, uses male privilege, has economic control ( ie nothing can get done in the house as he refuses to pay his share). He threatens me with social services gas lights, tries to control me by making me the decision maker so I get all the blame, and I cannot bear this life anymore so am making moves to go. I need support to keep seeing this through. I’m seeing someone from WAs but due to current circumstances lack all support from family and friends. I do know that I cannot live like this any longer
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Have you thought about an occupation order to have him removed from the property. Why should you have to move and uproot the kids. I’d try this rout first. If you’re in Scotland there’s free advice from the Scottish Women’s Rights Centre and it’s the Rights for Women in England. Shelter and WA may also have info on their website.
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I did think about that but as he is never physically violent according to my solcitor and would be hard to prove. Although I have a diary. How will I tell my kids I’ve got one in high school and one in primary. My primary one is manipulated by (detail removed by moderator) father who is over bearing and makes a big show of pretending to parent (detail removed by moderator). My (detail removed by moderator) daughter he ignores as she can see right through him. Do you tell them it’s a result of abuse?
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Once you are out and safe you can explain that you cannot tolerate his behaviour anymore. He’s going to try and poison the minds of the kids so while I tried to protect my children, my ex was going behind my back brainwashing them so my advice is to be truthful and set boundaries that include zero direct contact.
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