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It’s only been a short while since I left, it’s currently his overnight with our son and it’s given me a moment to actually process it all and it’s overwhelming. Like all the abuse I experienced I was just living in and now I’m out I can feel the emotions of it all but it’s coming in massive waves and it’s a lot. Throw in covid, well meaning friends who offer to be there but don’t have the capacity to actually be there for me, at least not in the way I need and ultimately who I really want to have with me is my Mum who I haven’t seen in over a year and no idea when I will be able to see next. I have to work today…it’s just all feeling too much.
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Lots of us on here suffer post traumatic stress disorder after leaving an abusive relationship so I think it would be good to talk to your GP and seek some counselling from an experienced professional in domestic abuse. Also, any contact at all with him will be triggering so I’d work towards zero contact and using a third party for handover or a contact centre. Contact your local women’s aid for support too. It’s at this point where the brain feels safe enough to process the abuse so it’s going to be very traumatic. Be kind to yourself and limit what you do for the time being. Keep things simple and try some mindfulness. Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven. Healing from Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas are a couple of good books x
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