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    • #169963
      sea lion
      Participant

      Hi, I’m new here and relate to so so many posts. But I have so much doubt still. I don’t know how much is because I was in a same sex marriage and everything seems to be about abuse from men. I relate and then think it isn’t the same although it feels like it is behaviour wise. The seeds of doubt keep coming back and I wonder if it all wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. I didn’t know at the time, not until the end of the relationship. It’s still going on subtly from afar but maybe I’m making a big deal in my head about it all.

    • #169965
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi sea lion,

      Welcome to the forum and thank you for posting so honestly about how you’re feeling. I hope you find the forum to be a safe space where you can share support with other women who understand.

      The doubt that you’re feeling is very normal. It’s often a part of the abuse itself. Abuse gets minimised and normalised within the relationship, times when things seem good with an abusive partner make you question yourself. The behaviours and dynamics are the same, you were still a woman experiencing domestic abuse from her partner, whatever their sex. Your experiences are valid and you are welcome here. There are other women on this forum who have experience of abuse from a same sex partner too.

      If you did want to speak with more survivors who have experience of domestic abuse within a same sex relationship, Galop have an LGBT+ domestic abuse forum. They also have a helpline and web chat if speaking with one of their advisors would be helpful.

      If you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (8am – 6pm weekdays and 10am – 6pm weekends/bank holidays). They won’t tell you what to do but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you.

      Take care and keep posting,
      Lisa
      (Forum Moderator)

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