17th May 2020 at 8:32 pm #103588
I haven’t been on here in a while. I guess I’m always embarrassed when I end up on this forum because I know I’ve failed. Started meeting the ex again after years of not speaking, in this time he had a new gf. Then they broke up and he started contacting me again , few months down the line and I find myself in the same place as (detail removed by Moderator) ago.
Can I ask is it normal for a man to constantly want to be touching you? Like I meet him to go for a walk and every time he puts his inside my pants and then expects me to perform oral sex on him. If I say no, then he keeps brushing it away and tries. If I tell him I’m sore he will ask questions why.
I feel like I’m just being used because the ex didn’t work out.
17th May 2020 at 8:52 pm #103590IwantmebackParticipant
No it’s not normal. It’s sexual abuse, he sees it as his right to be able to use your body any time he chooses. My oh (who I’ve left) still tries this, goes on at how I’m still his wife, can’t he show me here loves me. Thing is there’s a difference between lovingly caressing your partner and invading their space so brutally. It’s easy for these men to pick us up after years of not seeing us, as we no longer fear them the same way we did.we forget whey they put us through, but our body doesn’t. We leave these relationships fir a reason. You’re easier to have a relationship with than have to train someone else to give as much of themselves to him. Remember why yous split up, find his ex if you can, ask her why they split up,but it’ll be the opposite of what he says. If you can’t do that for fear of what he’ll say, then you still know he’s not good for you.
You have no reason to be embarrassed, you’ve not failed. Its jyst that abusers are very good at charming their way bavk into our lives. Dont be fooled by him, remember Jekyll and Hyde.
17th May 2020 at 9:51 pm #103600
What if I don’t say anything and pretend to go along with it so the quicker it’s over the sooner I can leave. I always feel like I give him the wrong signals. I never initiate the touching, it’s always him. Today I told him I didn’t want to kiss him or touch me as I don’t want to keep doing this. He got really annoyed at me and said how was an unconscious sleep. He thinks he’s a guru and a higher level of consciousness than common people like me. He said he needs to find a real girl because I am not one
17th May 2020 at 10:10 pm #103604BraelynnParticipant
Why do you want to be with a man who treats you with so much disrespect? This is obvious blatant sexual abuse and many other kinds of abuse. Sweetheart……..what are you doing here? We don’t need to put our head in a meat grinder and then ask why it hurts so bad to do so. In as much as you are trained so he doesn’t have to train anyone else and go right to you for what he wants, he is trained as well in how to treat you if you think you deserve abuse. If I might ask – were you ever sexually abused previous to him, because this treatment seems familiar to you, like it’s normal and it isn’t. No shame on you at all. This was done To you…..and you’ve obviously been conditioned to perform. He needs to be stopped from doing this to you and I can promise you, you are sooo not the only one. He is a sexual predator. Get away, get away now!!
18th May 2020 at 8:23 am #103623
He does always say I’ve trained you well and it will difficult to train another girl. I guess I think it’s normal because I have a lot of confidence issue so thought that most sexually active people must do this. I always feel uncomfortable when he does it but try to tell myself it’s normal.
I was sexually abused once when I was in my early teens – perhaps that has subconsciously had an impact. I didn’t say no then either and was taken advantage of. I still remember that day. I guess I take a lot of abuse because I feel unworthy
21st May 2020 at 1:42 am #103966CamelParticipant
Some women do enjoy the thrill of risky public sex.
However, most women don’t react well to being groped and pawed then coerced into performing oral sex in public places.
Don’t beat yourself up for finding yourself back with this abuser. They are extremely clever and manipulative. He’s not a guru. He’s a fraud.
It’s time you began to value yourself. Thank your lucky stars you’re not the ‘real girl’ he wants. Cut all communication. Then seek out counselling.
Best of luck x
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