Am I a target now?

[Dragonfly]

Not been on here in a while. Hello to those who remember me 🙂 I’m getting my life back on track, but another person in my life assaulted me, not going in to detail but do any of you have dealings with a colleague (who’s not allowed back in my team because of her behaviour) how do you deal with passive aggressive behaviour in the workplace? She’s stolen money from me as well as assaulting me. She’s spreading absolute garbage about me at work. My manager thinks it’s nothing to do with her. HR are useless too.

[KIP.]

I would involve the police. Her behaviour is criminal and your work are not addressing this or protecting you. Let the police deal with them now. Perhaps she will think twice in future. Gather all the evidence you can meantime. Screenshots etc x

[diymum@1]

yeh ive been in this position – i was bullied at work in a passive aggressive way. id keep a journal of everything – are you a member of a union? xx

[Copperflame]

Yes I’ve suffered bullying at work and on more than one occasion as well, sadly:( I’m sorry to hear that work is not being supportive.

Did this person assault you in the workplace? If so it is gross misconduct and a sackable offence – and even if it was outside work she was still committing a crime and you are well within your rights to report it.

There are a few things you can do:- Firstly, if you are in a union speak to them and ask for support. Another organisation you can ring is ACAS, which is very helpful. Thirdly, as lot of larger employers have a 24 hour helpline you can ring about any kind of issue that is bothering you, so if your employer does have one of these you can ring them. Another organisation you can speak to is the Samaritans – you can speak to them about anything, it’s not just for people who are suicidal. Websites like Bullyonline can also be helpful.

As the other ladies have said, keep a journal of everything that happens, however minor, including any rumours about you that reach your ears. Passive aggressive or covert bullying can be very subtle, and it can be often be hard to find the right words to describe it. It can be things like a strange atmosphere, people behaving towards you in an odd way, being sent to Coventry for no particular reason, being excluded from meetings or social activities, things going missing and then turning up again (which is a form of gaslighting that happened to me with a workplace bully) and offhand body language. In these cases, you can write about how this behaviour made you feel. If she steals money from you again, report it immediately and if the response isn’t satisfactory, speak to the police.

Workplace bullies have the same distorted mindset and sense of entitlement as perpetrators of DV – it’s all about power and control and their behaviour is never acceptable. Sadly DV can leave you feeling very vulnerable and until you have a chance to rebuild and strengthen your boundaries, other predators can spot that vulnerability. Just remember that abuse and bullying is never the target’s fault but is a choice made by the perpetrator, who feels entitled to abuse and bully. xx

[Dragonfly]

Thank you! She was arrested and charged. Then suspended from work. Somehow she managed to manipulate me (detail removed by Moderator)

She didn’t assault me at work but she left physical marks on my face.

we don’t have a union but we have staff representatives. I have been documenting things and I have been letting my manager know how I feel what’s been happening etc. I think my manager doesn’t know what to do. I think I’ll speak to one of the staff reps.

[Iwantmeback]

Acas can help advise with this. Most t’s & c’s at work state that bullying or assaulting another member of staff are sackable offenses and classed as gross misconduct.
IWMB 💕💕

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