Am I being gaslighted

[Distraught]

I am unsure if its me. My boyfriend is great at phone calls and messaging. But when I go out, he will ignore a couple of messages which he never usually does. Then the messages will change so no longer putting kisses at the end of a message. Is it me being to needy or am I overthinking him ignoring me. I feel like he purposely does it to try ruin my night. My ex use to do that so I now look for these issues in new partners. Now I’m the 1 in the wrong and he needs to have a think. Yet again feel like iv been gaslighted then made to feel like it’s my fault. Am I right or could he be trying to let me have fun with friends?

[Lisa]

Hello Distraught,

Thank you for your post and for sharing this with us.

Domestic abuse is often a pattern and combination of manipulative, controlling and intimidating behaviours. One of these behaviours could be making it difficult for us to spend time with friends or family in or way or another. For example, starting an argument or emotionally withdrawing (creating a consequence), if we spend time with others. This could be an indicator of emotional abuse or coercive control if it is in conjunction with other behaviours.

The fact that you have found your way to this forum is also an indicator, and it’s important to trust your intuition if something doesn’t feel right in your relationship.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Ariel]

I think you are right. If you know your partner well ypu will notice the difference in his texts.
But he’s not going to admit it.

[Buildmeupbuttercup]

My ex would gaslight me in a very very similar way and would never admit it. There were so so many things that he gaslit me about but I couldn’t see most of it while it was happening. I was more able to see the pattern of abuse once I got some space and did some more research.

Stay in touch x

[Author]

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