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Took me a while to get here… keep telling myself that I am crazy and it is all my fault. Don’t know what to do next, where or to whom to turn to.
Almost (detail removed by moderator) ago I met him at (detail removed by moderator). All nice and peachy until he started complaining that I was talking too much to the ladies at work and that I have more to talk to them about than I do with him. I smiled. He told me he had been abused in the past, had low confidence because of his first ex. I thought I could help.. he had had therapy in the past but not any more as he said he was feeling better. Long story short, there were a lot of red flags to begin with that I chose to disregard: he would turn everything against me, making me feel bad. At one point he packed and threw my clothes out of the house, I moved away and after a few days he would stalk me, call/ text: email me and if I would still be adamant he would start insulting me.
I still went back. I am an idiot and even more so now that we share a child together. As soon as I got out of the hospital he made a racket about the baby crying. I have blamed that on the lack of sleep. I swear that everything he does now is just to spite me. He (detail removed by moderator), he walked in the room saying that he is the better parent. He does have other three children. He disregards my requests for hygiene. He doesn’t wash his hands and refuses to (detail removed by moderator) just because he can. He calls me names in from of his daughter when she comes to visit every other weekend. If I tell him (detail removed by moderator) I am told to go … myself. I am (detail removed by moderator) and his mother suggested I spoke to baby in my language as well which I have started to but after agreeing he complained about it. According to him I am an overbearing mother, crazy and paranoid. I am a first time mum and all I asked for was just basic hygiene. He told baby (detail removed by moderator). He complains daily about something. He lacks self confidence and when I offer help he finds excuses. He accuses me of cheating and calls me all sorts. He is now pressuring me for sex and won’t even say a word to me before going to bed unless it has to do with us having sex. And the thing I find weird is that he absolutely hates me speaking to other people but in bed he said he would try with someone else.
He constantly makes fun of me and sometimes of my English( especially lately)
He went back to work and he is always tired which I understand. He barely helps around the house. I am tired and cannot take it anymore. Mind games and he’s always right and I know nothing. He disregard everything I say or he’ll just say that he will have to research anything I do regarding baby whilst he makes decisions without even consulting me. I am starting to believe that he enjoys seeing me suffer. When I try and open up a conversation, to talk about the issues we have he will stare at the wall, into his phone or just anywhere else but in my direction. He won’t talk to me. Or he will say that he is too tired or that is it too late, postpone it for tomorrow.. when tomorrow comes he won’t say a thing.
And I am not the best person either. I just can’t take anymore some times. He brings me to the end of my tether.
I keep thinking I made a huge mistake and feel so sorry for my baby. I don’t him to grow up without a father.
I am really sorry about the long post. I guess I needed to vent. The situation is getting worse and worse and dunno what to do anymore. He acts like he doesn’t care about me. Which is fine. But there is the baby as well and as much as I have tried to explain that me being anxious and upset affects baby it doesn’t seem to do anything -
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Thank you ever so much. I am aware that I need help but I am just scared. I have always been as I don’t want to cause trouble and also because I got to a point where I am made to believe that I am crazy one and risk loosing my baby because of that.
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Hi, you are not crazy, he has worn you down. I honestly think it’s better to raise a child in a happy healthy home then one where there is abuse. No matter how much you try and protect your children from it all they are very aware of everything that goes on. Get advice and read as much as you can. Take care xx
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I finally took the courage and wrote to an email to women’s aid.
I had been keeping a diary with a log of baby’s feeds. I had it with me but in the past few days I had left it on my nightstand. He went through my things again and when I told him that if he needed info on the baby he could ask me he said that he just did not know what that was and thought I was keeping a log with regards to him.
I have been reading here and there, time permitting, but he still makes me feel like I know nothing, if that makes sense.
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