Am I emotionally blackmailing?

[Alpaca]

I’m really upset.
I’ve read some posts where men threaten to kill themselves.
Yesterday I sent him a text explaining that his constant anger upsets me so much that I don’t want to carry on living. It’s true. It’s how I feel. I want the pain to end. He hasn’t replied so he’s probably going to be angry.
Now I’m worried that I am emotionally blackmailing him and that it’s me. But I wouldn’t feel so depressed if he was kind to me.

[Confused-and-alone]

Telling someone that you are going through severe emotional pain because of their behaviour is very different to someone threatening to kill themselves if you leave them. That is blackmailing you to stay. I think what you are doing is crying out for help and for him to change – he won’t change so you should start planning your exit. You clearly can’t carry on as you are but you can carry on without him.

[KIP.]

Putting your happiness in the hands of your abuser is how we become hooked to the abuser in the first place. You’re setting yourself up for more disappointment. Try ringing the helpline on here. You need to speak to someone from women’s Aid who can explain they dynamics of abuse. Google the cycle of abuse and trauma bonding x

[Author]

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