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So I’ve just got a support worker and now I’m reflecting on my life.
My first partner was violent and I no I was abused. My next relationship was OK. But the one after that I was raped and he actually admitted tru manipulating me until in (detail removed by Moderator) words he broke me. Now I’m with an alcoholic and my life is rubbish. Is it me that just attracts horrible me. Is their something wrong with me. How do I no what to change -
Hi there. I went for counselling and it really opened my eye. The type of people we are attracted to is often rooted in our past. It might be that you feel comfortable around a certain type of man because of your past. I’d recommend good counselling and also the Freedom Programme which helps us spot the signs of an abuser. The book Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven is what the freedom Programme is based on so take a look at that. It’s not a cycle it’s perhaps more lack of awareness and attraction to the wrong type of man and also a lack of boundaries. Absolutely none of this is your fault. Abusers choose to abuse but having the skills to spot them early on is critical to stop ourselves getting hooked into these relationships x it’s very common for a victims to fall into another abusive relationship. Women’s aid recommend two years after an abusive relationship to heal and also to recognise abuse in future x
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You can ask your support worker about the Freedom Programme or google it. There are often charities that run it free online. There’s nothing wrong in disclosing he’s an alcoholic. Many people are alcoholics but are not abusers. There are functioning alcoholics. His problems with alcohol do not cause abuse. That’s his choice to abuse x
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