23rd May 2021 at 7:54 pm #126243Scaredmumof1Participant
(Detail removed by moderator) i was at my mums for a get together for my (detail removed by moderator) and my lo (detail removed by moderator) dad wanted to talk to her via facetime (ive never refused him to do this).
Anyway its my weekend with my lo and he kept asking when I was going home but when I told him that I was staying the night he got all defensive by saving that he doesnt want me to stay the night at theirs (detail removed by moderator).
says we had an agreement that my lo never stays over (detail removed by moderator), but as her mum i made the choice to stay over so that my dad wouldnt run around picking us up etc.
He kept calling me to talk after I said to him that i was staying but he said (detail removed by moderator) he refused me to let her stay over i would have to go with him. He then gave me a option (detail removed by moderator) i said no to this.
(Detail removed by moderator)I was meant to stay over my parents but in the end i said ok I won’t stay over but he seems to think I have an agreement with him that our lo is never to stay over.
His now saying his taking this further, i love my child to bits but im scared of what his going to do next.
It just feels like i have to get his permission to do what i like with our lo and he doesnt.
Am i being unreasonable?
24th May 2021 at 10:22 am #126263ISOPeaceParticipant
Hi there, a lot of detail has been removed from your post, but I think the gist is that he doesn’t want your lo staying at your parents’ and seems to think he has the right to enforce this in some way, whereas he doesn’t think he needs your permission for similar things.
What do you mean by being scared about what he will do next? Are you worried about him taking legal action or is it more than that?
I don’t know the legal position well, but my general understanding is that each parent makes their own decisions about what is reasonable while they have the child. Unless you have a court order that says your lo shouldn’t stay at your parents’ I don’t think he has any legal right to stop that happening. I think the only way a court would agree with him would be if he could prove that you lo was at risk there.
It sounds to me like he’s being controlling and unreasonable. It’s totally understandable that you are worried. Threats are always horrible, especially when they relate to your kids. I would recommend getting legal advice if you’re concerned about the legal side. Lots of solicitors offer free consultations and there are charities offering free legal advice (e.g. Rights of Women). If you’re worried about more than the legal side, speak to the National Domestic Abuse Helpline who can give you support or live chat with Women’s Aid. Sending love xxxx
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