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Why is it so physically and mentally hard !! I’ve not been with the idiot for over (detail removed by moderator) years now. I’ve been through the therapy (EMDR, ICBT) and all that. BUT Why do I still feel so unbelievablely sad at times. Why do I still have to suffer. I thought after building up the strength to leave it would be so much easier but truth is in my experience its harder. When your in a dv relationship you know what to expect but now I just get random questions and memories filling my head. I want it to stop. I’ve been through therapy to make it stop. So why has it not ended yet why can’t I get on with my live with my life.
Why does he get to be happy with a family and a lovely house !!!! What makes him deserve that and why am I still suffering.
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I’m a little less time out than you, not much and I get what you’re saying. My brain thinks of things daily, multiple times. I look at his life and get angry. My brain is quieter than when I first left but it still feels fresh at times, fuzzy and I’m definitely still recovering. Meanwhile he’s in a new place, new life, supposedly happy.
But here’s the thing he’s not happy and never will be. They just rinse and repeat with a new person, until that one finds the strength to leave and so on. Think of this is a long game, you, me and other survivors are recovering, discovering who we are and growing into different versions of us. Meanwhile he’s playing make believe. He’s stuck a plaster over a gaping wound which will fall off whilst we’re healing, going through rehab or physio for our minds and learning to live with the scars. Hang in there, one day you’ll just notice you’re smiling or your brain is quieter. You got this x*x
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You are so right. They will be living in their warped world forever. Their authentic self will never change and they will act for a bit , but it will surface. I am still with my abuser and he taunts me that I am unloveable and no one will want me. And how attractive he is etc etc. and how women love him. But I know that the real him is there and that the mask will fall and he will not fool anyone. They live in a make believe world – you don’t. You will work on yourself, your needs , your kindness to yourself. You will be ok.
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