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Just heard from the solicitors the financial meeting is now postponed until Nov. So it will be nearly (detail removed by moderator) since we seperated. I am convinced he was behind the disappearance of all the paperwork and I know he has had the house watched. He used my son as a cats paw and to gather I formation. I am a lot older than my ex and don’t know if I have much fight left in me. My family have sided with him so effectively I have only had myself fighting in my corner. But since he nearly died I think he’s going to say he can no longer work so will be looking for 50% of my pension. I feel sick as I know if my sons stay with him he will exploit them too financially. I had wanted move abroad but with brexit god knows what will happen to that idea. I just feel everything has been taken from me and he will never stop until I have been brought down. He called me formidable the last time we spoke. I went no contact at all, last year and it’s been the best thing I have ever done. I’m not looking for justice I just want to be left alone and for him to stop poking his nose in. The lies he has told are incredible apparently I was the abuser. My mental health saw right through him and described him as poison. He leaves clues outside the house to let me know he’s been about and somehow turned off the cctv. He’s cut alright. Every penny he can for our boys he does and gets maintainence from me too so he’s quids in. His only true love is money and he never spends it. He gets others to buy stuff for him including my brother. Oh how I wished I had listened to my father when he said you don’t have to marry him.
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No you don’t give in, never. You take as much time off as you need to rest, recover and gather your strength and you continue, you keep going, learning at every turn, how to make your life better.
For practical advice, you could call Women’s Aid, Rights of Women, Victim Support. Breathe in and out, you did the right thing to post when things get difficult, you regroup and go out there again when ready. See long term, see far into the future. You will be ok, take good care of yourself.
Sending you strength
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