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You all know how hard I have to go to work as he really hates it and is oftwn nasty but i go as it gives me a warm feeling a sense of being needed wanted.
The last (detail removed by moderator) ive been given a big role that i love temporary but with the hope it becomes perminant but sadly yesterday the person i was covering came back and im not needed. It hurt so much and i felt pushed out a little I came home and wanted to talk to share but all he did was laugh and revel in the joy that as he puts ive been pushed out he loved it. Im so sad again im still working but not doing the main job and my boss said how she couldnt do without me and how im needed but it doesnt feel that way i feel used again by someone else he thinks its great wants me to leave and i must admit the thought has crossed my mind now I feel the love for my job is fading away. Am i letting him win? Am i letting him get to me? Its quiet here he is being very needy and loving and trying hard i suspect cause he wants what he always wants but hes being ok apart from moaning about my job.
I just feel if i give it up would it make home easier again? Im tired of fighting so so tired. -
It always hurts when you don’t get a job you want and totally natural to be blue & feel let down. The best approach now is to work with your manager to be ready for the next opportunity- grab every opportunity to do new things, ask to design a development plan. They are already saying they can’t do without you, time to make it so you’re the best option for a role! Plus if another role doesn’t come up here, you’ve increased your skills and your confidence for roles elsewhere. Don’t run away.
He’ll never be happy. If you quit, you’d never hear the end of it, he’d just find something else to be unhappy with and most importantly, you’d be unhappy again losing something you love. I never forgot mine’s lack of support through a difficult work situation and added to that mental list of reasons. Your partner should be supporting you, not laughing at you. Don’t quit, own this and use it to bigger and better things, sticking two fingers up at him!! xx
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Thank you so much. I probably shouldnt have written this post there are bigger things to wlrry about but it just hit me hard and his reaction was devestating i couldnt believe how much he loved it. I knew it was always temporary with a small chance of being perminant i just got my hopes up. Some days you hang on so tight to anything good dont you?
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Of course you should’ve written it! We’re all here to support each other because we can’t rely on our partners for that. His reaction is really cruel. I had similar in my work situation and it’s like a double whammy. It’s not wrong to expect a normal, supportive response but sadly these men just love to surprise us with just how nasty they can be. xx
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Nbumblebee I am sorry you are feeling like this. I can understand why those feelings would arise in that work situation. However, do remember what has been said by your boss- that they couldn’t do without you and you are needed. They obviously value your work and it seems that it just wasn’t the right time for the other role to become permanent. Your boss wouldn’t say those things to you if they didn’t think them.
He is playing on your emotions, he knows that this will have been disappointing for you and wants to make you feel worse as it makes him feel better about himself. He wants to get his own way and have you quit your job cos then he has won. Don’t listen to him, how cruel for him to laugh at you when all you needed was to talk about how you were feeling about the situation.
Stay strong lovely and remember the reasons why you wanted to work in the first place. Don’t let him manipulate you into quitting. He knows you are feeling weakened at this moment and is playing on those emotions.
Sending you lots of love x -
Nbumblbee the change of role is just a trigger with your self esteem, just see it as a circumstantial change + not a personal blow, the fact that he laughed shows he has a deviant streak, abuse victims/survivors have a tendency sometimes to people please (abandon happiness for someone else put others wants above their own) when your self esteem gets better you’ll stick to what feels right for you + what makes you happy (your job, because it is + it does) “he’s” the issue not your job 💜🤗💜
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@Auriel @Shazza Thank you bith so much. Was so down today so your words meant alot.
I saw my counsellor and she talked to me about how i feel so selfish all the time how i feel like i shouldnt work as it makes him unhappy and i ahould just stop but like you both said she said the same if its not work it will be something else i just cant do right whatever i do.
None of us ever will I guess.
She said she was worried about me that i seem down and i told her I felt done thats the only way i can describe it im tired fed up beoken down and lost that fire i had not so long ago. I will keep pushing keep trying because thats what we do isnt it? I choose to stay i guess so I need to find a way. I just cant seem to see a way out a way through.
Thank you again for listening x*x
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