Am I mad

[Headcook]

So had convo with son last week saying all the baby stuff is dominating the whole house
It’s not relaxing at the end of a hard day sitting staring at toys there is no adult space of an evening
Partner is off this week come home today to more and more stuff everywhere baby cushions and blankets draped all over front room
Toys to the side of a new toy box brought to disguise toys tidy
New buggy hanging out from under the stairs

My question is
Deliberate +
Control

Or is my gut got it wrong

Hc

[ssid]

I wonde rthr same but recently my gp said its normal to be traumatized by trauma. It wouldn’t be normal if you werent.

It helped me a bit to hear that.

Mine are passed that stage now but I remember our home looking this way and I was miserable and alone being the only one who ever did anything whilst being abused.

Does your son help his partner to clear away if shes been with the baby all day. Does he leave her to do it all? I think a mum doesnt have enough energy at the end of the day to make deliberate mess and want to sit in it.

Would she be cross if you offered to pick a few bits up like the blankets, to help out?

A basket to chuck everything into in one place was a easy tidy thing for me, but I had an ex who never lifted a finger and I was often too exhausted to even use the tidy basket or make a bed alone so had to sleep on bare bed.

If she would do this to control you I’m not aure how it does control you, maybe to annoy you, but if thats whats going on you could ask her why she wouod work so hard to annoy?

I hope you can sort it wirh her

[Headcook]

These things are placed in a way that is not untidy just staring you in the face every where you turn
The control is her saying I can’t put these things were I like because your son has told me what you said
This is my house
( her words )
She is passive aggressive pay back orientated

Maybe it’s me

Hc

[Headcook]

Going crazy living here I must be for thinking like I do

Just seems very strange I say can we not put (removed by moderator) at other end of room so we don’t sit looking at it in the eve especially if stuff just going to be piled on it’s lid

Well (removed by moderator) is in full view not listened to or heard and stuff being piled on its lid

I was made to feel mad by my son so I must be

It’s a (removed by moderator) why am I so bothered

Hc

[ssid]

If she’s doing passive aggressive things then it doesn’t sound so innocent at all, and if it was a good relationship she would have had a conversation with you surely? She heard and ignored you.

I take it its not ‘her’ house then, so everything should be discussed with everyone otherwise its a horrible way to treat you, hearing you and ignoring you. No wonder you feel this way.

Can you tell her, repeat what you said about the (removed by moderator) so you can have an adult space at night, I cant see why it would matter to her to have it in a specific place. She might be able to explain the need for it to be there? If not, then maybe you have your answer.

Hopefully your son will be clearing away aswell.

Good luck with it,but don’t blame yourself for her behaviour.

[Headcook]

The child is dominating the whole house
The only conversation is the baby this the baby that
Them as a couple have no other conversation only baby so unhealthy
The whole atmosphere is toxic and unhealthy
My friend messaged me other day asking did I see a chat show topic was are you bringing up your child to be a n********t ! Do n*********s parents raise there kids to be one too
Baby shouts at us head butts us and hits out at us can’t remember my son doing this as a baby
So need to get away from all this
Driving me insane

Hc

[Headcook]

More I think about this
This is all her controlling son and I
Even though what he does is so wrong to me I think it’s cause he can’t cope with her and that is spilling out of him on to me
Does this even make sense
Hc

[KIP.]

You’re living in a toxic environment. It doesn’t matter what she says or does it is absolutely no excuse for your son to abuse you. Until you remove yourself from that environment nothing will change for you x

[Headcook]

100% toxic kip
Trying to see pattern and triggers
To limit outbursts Until I can get out
That and to make me see I’m not mad and imagining all this

Thanks kip

Hc

[Author]

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