26th January 2019 at 7:23 pm #71367
He’s sitting here in the only room with any heating, drinking and really laying the flirting on thick with his lady friend across the pond. I can hear it through headphones.
I feel like I want to go and break things, smash things. Well by things I mean him really!
I know I’m done, and have told him so, and am doing grey rock, but surely that’s still disrespectful?
26th January 2019 at 8:13 pm #71370KIP.Participant
It’s absolutely disgusting. He’s rubbing your nose in it hoping for a reaction from you. Mine did the same. I had him arrested. He wasn’t so smug then. Have him removed by the police if it’s your property he has no right to be there.
26th January 2019 at 8:46 pm #71372
Hi ebonyraven, you are awesome. Putting up with his despicable behaviour and not giving him any ammunition, you are truly one strong lady💞 time to get tough with him if possible. Can you disconnect internet supplier, think more out of the box, even remove fuses from plugs. If you pay for the internet, stop paying it, phone up the company and say you’re moving out immediately and don’t need to install in new place. Might be worth it till he’s gone to go without. It’s things like this that the outside world need to know we need to do because of our situations. You could use a dongle or similar meantime to enable your own connection. I’m just throwing ideas out here, not sure if doable. It’s so hard going grey rock, I’m practicing it daily, sometimes I forget and go to engage in conversation, then I remember. 😊
26th January 2019 at 8:48 pm #71373
Ps you’re not bring disrespectful,,, he is.
26th January 2019 at 9:02 pm #71374
Great ideas. Thank you. What could I tell the police? Can I get him arrested for being an utter a**hat?
26th January 2019 at 11:57 pm #71386
Probably not, but you have a lot more reasons to have him arrested. Psychological abuse being one of them. Once you open up about that, the rest will come tumbling out. It’s like a volcano, once the truth starts trickling out, it eventually erupts.
We still feel as if going to the police isn’t an option unless there’s been violence, but their erratic behaviour, how our behaviour over the time of the relationship Has changed, that should be enough to get him away from us shouldn’t it. One day your opportunity will arise, until them keep journaling his behaviour. His ‘friend’ has no idea what she’s dealing with. It’s time these men came with a government health warning.
Good luck and keep strong💪💜
27th January 2019 at 9:15 am #71397LisaMain Moderator
Good morning EbonyRaven,
I just wanted to show you some support. Your situation sounds really upsetting and challenging. It is horrible when you can not feel happy and safe in your home. I wondered if you had spoken to the helpline about your situation? They might be able to talk to you about all your options and may even let you know of things you might have not yet considered. We know that it is far from ideal to share a home with an abuser, emotionally and physically you can be feeling vulnerable so please do try to find a safe time to give them a ring and then post here to let us know how you have got on.
27th January 2019 at 12:17 pm #71409
Thank you. He keeps taking the house phone out of the charger so it runs down all the time. You know, seeing that written here makes me wonder if it isn’t just that he used it and was too lazy to put it back….
I’ve recently got myself a mobile with a call plan, whereas I was on pay as you go before (Always hardly any credit), so I could now call.
I haven’t yet because I don’t really know how to open the conversation. I’ve never enjoyed calling anyone, or talking on the ‘phone, I’m not sure why. I’ve always tended more toward email and messaging. So I have to sort of psyche myself up to a call, plan it out even
I’m due to have a ‘procedure’ at hospital soon, so once that’s over hopefully I can concentrate more on taking proper action to get him removed. (I don’t want any dates to clash with it, or recovery.)
It’s all just so frustrating and painful at the moment.
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