Am I right to leave?

[Finkle]

Since realising that he is abusive, I’ve been going back and forth between his flat and my mum’s house. I’ve been strong for the past week and haven’t gone back after he started giving me the silent treatment because I didn’t tell him if I was on my way home when he asked through a text that I didn’t read. He’d decided I was ignoring him and then blamed his bad mood on the fact I didn’t answer within  minutes. I told him that until he gets help and gets a job that I won’t be going back. I also asked him to give me some space and not message me for a few days. He didn’t listen and has continued to message me every day. Nothing bad but that makes it worse. He’s been saying how much he misses me and how hard he is working to make a change and how much he loves me and it makes things really difficult. I feel like I’m just making it all up in my head and he was just having a bad day and I’m overreacting by leaving. But I feel like if I go back, it will just end up with him eventually snapping. The time before that when I left he held a knife to his throat and said “I’m going to kill myself and make you watch  (detail removed by moderator)”. I’m terrified that the knife will end up being turned on me. But what if he is actually changing? Is it possible that he can? Should I give him a chance to prove himself?

[KIP.]

OMG. That man is dangerous. You are minimising the abuse. Can you imagine your mum or a female friend telling that story. You would be horrified. That’s the danger with abuse, it creeps up and becomes our normal. It is not normal. He has had his chance. In fact I bet he has been given many chances. Can you block his texts for a few days to give you some breathing space. He is not respecting your wishes or your boundaries. The fact that you even think he might use a knife on you is so serious. Can you contact your local women’s aid or ring the helpline. I can’t imagine the mental cruelty that the woman he cheated on you with is allowed to stay. What kind if a monster does that. He has no empathy. Cruel cruel men x

[Serenity]

No, they don’t change.

He’s donned a new mask to try to draw you back in.

He isn’t normal. Stay away from him x*x

[Ayanna]

He will not change, that is for sure.
You need to get away from him for good. This man has the potential to kill you.
Write down why you left. Write down your feelings and concerns. Reading this will help you to stay strong when you become weak.
Keep posting. x*x

[Author]

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