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oh this anxiety is so bad. i thought I was going to die yesterday. dr gave me some diazepam which helped a lot i think they are going to be regular for a while my head is all over the place im just pure gutted absolutely gut wrenched as to what he has dine and put me through. had a bit of a run in with my sister and brother in law yesterday they felt the need to laugh and jike and put me down about my choices in men. they really took the p**s.. i was so upset i broke down crying. i later rang her and gave it her back. i just feel so sad very sad and gutted.how i am going to get through a 15hr shift in work today i dont know
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Hi imsosad
Your anxiety levels sound extremely high, how come you need to go to work and such long hours too?! Is this even legal? Sorry but 15 hours seems way too long. I’ve never heard of such long shifts.Can you get an appointment with your GP to consider the possibility of taking a leave of absence – long very, long sick leave – in order for you to recover, to be able to rest, your anxiety needs to come down drastically, it isn’t healthy this way, the next stop are panic attacks and then worse; heart attacks.
I’m sorry your sister&brother in law were very insensitive with their comments, really misplaced timing to joke now about your choice in relationships, plus you are not the one choosing when it comes to an abusive person, he is the one choosing you, he selected you and charmed his way into your life. You were a victim as soon as he had you on his radar.
Breathe in deeply honey, I hope your GP can assist you seriously and your anxiety gets reduced asap. It must.
Sending you big hugs 💕🌸
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thank you so much for your message. i work (detail removed by moderator) so my hours are really long. i am going back to see my gp im not coping very well with the anxiety. my life has been turned upside down. i dont want to go home half the time when i do i make my friend stay with me it stops me from thinking of the nightmare i have just come from its awful
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i had horrible anxiety the first year and it gradually subsided. i couldnt concentrate – i didnt want to be at home and when i went out i wanted to come home. i couldnt settle anywhere for any length off time. it was horrible. i saw the gp a he gave me citilopram that didnt work. i had prozac 20mg and that really helped altho it took a month id say to properly kick in.you could alays take small doses of diazepam till the anti- anxiety kicks in? as diazepam is very addictive. im not saying SSRI’s are the answer but sometimes its getting by until you can get counselling and support. do what you have to do to get thru xx working long hours will be hard especially if the anxiety stops you sleeping well. i was working 12 hrs at the time my anxiety was high i was eventually told to sign off work i took a few months off xx my anxiety comes and goes now things trigger it off but its no where near as bad as in the beginning. i feel for you but i wanted to give you hope that these feelings will pass 🙂
much love diymum
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hi diymum. i take b****r blockers propanalol for my anxiety i nearly killed myself last week i took that many so i know i need to see the doc i hate being home alone i think too much i remember i hate it i hate feeling this way i hate him for what hes done to me. i have lots of regrets made lots of wrong choices and im beating myself up constantly because of it. all i keep saying is im sad im really really sad
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i let it happen i let it continue i could of got out sooner the warning signes was there but i thought i could change him i was so wrong. im going to ring GP tomorrow try get some help
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so did i but we get stuck with them. we get scared an dont know how to get away. he let it happen you did do this xxxx cut yourself some slack i wish i could take this pain away its really hard but reach out and get all the help you can get. then before you know it you will have better days. i didnt believe i would but honestly it does get better – it takes time xxxx
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Hi – DIY is right, please try not to repeat that you’re sad, as she says that’s what you will be. The anxiety caused by these people cripples good people like us. We don’t stay because we’re stupid. We stay because we’re scared or we think we can change them because we are good people. Try to do some meditation, just ten minutes a day quiet time just for you. There are lots of things online, Headspace is really good but you have to pay for it. There are all sorts of guided meditations to help you through stress and anxiety. This might help start calming your mind. Definitely see your GP, the medication might not be right for you. I’m on fluoxetine but still drinking so am probably negating most of the effects. You will get through this, we all will. Big hugs to you xx
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i was wondering what medications people found useful so fluoxitine is prozac isnt it. i know mirtazipine is prescribed but this can make people feel like zombies. im wondering because this type off trauma is so specific do we respond to certain types off ant-anxiety? abit like how pain responds to medication or not xx
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i have really positive days as i know i done the right thing getting rid of him the no contact is a blessing i changed my number changed my work schedule my boss was AMAZING and changed my work location for me as he knew about the abuse and has been so supportive what i am now struggling with is this is the 3rd time i have been in an abusive relationship. the first 2 i didn’t see the signs this time i did. but we had history (detail removed by moderator)yrs ago thats why i wanted him and tried to change him. it couldn’t be done the man is too damaging
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i have had mitrazapine before its quite its mainly prescribed now for alcoholism. feel i need antidepressants im coping there it is the anxiety. im very familiar with these kind of drugs due to the nature of my work. sertraline and citalapram are really good prozac are the really old and cheap drugs
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tha\ts still not your fault id say really bad luck – im the same ive had 3 abusive relationships and have formed a few friendships who i had to cut contact with. i know what your saying because for years i thot god why do i attract abusers. its probably because they can see your a lovely person – caring xxxx
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i totally agree everyone has said the same thing. i know im a good kind loyal honest person. what guts me like a fish is i let a really good one get away for him 😔
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Apparently fluoxetine is just a brand name for Prozac. I think it is keeping me calmer. The first 2 weeks I was on diazepam because I was on the ceiling stressed as it had just happened. They changed it to fluoxetine when I went back. Don’t really want to be on them long term but if they help through this phase then good. I think abusers do see good people as easy to manipulate just because of our empathy and good natures. Fortunately that was my first and hopefully last one. I’ll stick with my cat for the foreseeable future ;)x
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iss – you need a wee hand up but youll get stronger see how you go with the gp tomorrow and let us know how you got on. i promise you will move forward every day – you will:)
hd – me too im still on them and if i forget my anxiety rears up – pmt dosent help much ! lol i think counselling is the next step but i need to pluck up the courage. im good at giving advice but cant seem to get myself totally in gear when it comes to going to see some one. i like cats they dont talk back xxxx
much love diymum
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i agree hunkydory i have no desire to get into another relationship ever! i had a fantastic childhood fantastic parents i have never missed out. i throw myself into work i dont need anyone anymore just this anxiety to go i will be fine. he is someone elses problem now they wanted him can have him . and yes prozac is the generic name for fluoxetine if it works keep with it. i am going to get re assessed tho i need to be fixed
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i dont like cats but i have a gay best friend its the next best thing. we girls can get through this we have come this far love to you all
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Hi Imsosad, can I recommend Amitriptyline? I have been on all sorts most of my life, especially in the last four years of being on and off with my ex, but Amitriptyline is the best thing I have been on. Diazepam is great in the moment when you are insanely anxious or having an attack, but Amitriptyline I take 1 every night and not only does it help me sleep which is imperative (since the first time my abuser broke up with me I have suffered from insomnia which makes me go even more crazy) it also prevents anxiety. The only time I am now ever overwhelming anxious is when I am triggered but it fades pretty quickly. I have been on it for almost a year now and really recommend it.
None of this is your fault – all you did was love someone and stand by them, we have all been there and done it and now we have to pick up the pieces but we can, we will, and we will all get there together it just takes time x
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hiya lovely i will ask my GP as usual no appointment when you need one i was ringing from 9am. i got to be honest i have been ok today i have kept myself busy but i do know it will rear its ugly head again. im a just so sad to read how many women have gone through or going through this hell. its cruel so cruel. especially when we have been nothing but good and loyal to them
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Do you have a walk in centre near you that you could go to?
It is cruel, and I always think we suffer so much whilst they just get on with their lives. But as with us, it will rear it’s ugly head with them too and it will all catch up with them. We will be well shot of them then living our lives to the fullest and much wiser for all their many lessons! -
my own gp has been treating my anxiety for a few years now its just got a million times worse. i continue to say what you have said they move on without a care in the world go from wonan to woman ruining lives. i just pray karma has a full profile on all of them and they go through pure hell. i wish every illness on him every excruciating pain and a ver long painful lonely death thats how much much hate for this thing cant call him a man i have . i will be well one day i will be happy i will get my happy ending but him i wish everything on to him…. God forgive me but im bitter and angry
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i dont think i recognised until recently i had extreme anxiety especially in the beginning because of trauma (directly) i thought in my confusion it was because i had chosen the wrong ype again – i couldnt survive without a man. i thought my own weaknesses were making me feel like this. i see no this wasnt the case and for you too i feel this is the same. youve been traumatised out brains get fuzzy and we honestly dont know what to think about all thats happened 1 its too much to process and 2 we get really scared. i still find it hard to really face up to what he did. what your feeling just now is natural its an injury to you as a person. i really hope you can manage to see the gp xx the hell is managable and the process can be long in recovering but we will all get there x*x helps to know your not alone in feeling like this iss xx i still have anxiety to degree most days but sometimes for only say five minites then it dissipates xxxx
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they are cold and calculated they pick the ones they know they can ruin. my hut wrench is i moved out of a beautiful home i set up all on my own he moved himself in took over. opportunity came to move to a bigger place now im left with half done botched up jobs a garden i cant handle on my own jobs that im going to have to have professionals in to do and im up to my eyes in debt (in debt management now coz of him) im angry very angry and very sad that i let this happen the hate is taking me over
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this is next stage anger and thats not a bad thing this is where we sort off disengage our feelings for them. its a good thing in a way your feeling like this might not feel like your moving forward but its a step further than missing them for sure. i know were left to pick up all the peices and it isnt fair. keep moving forwards you will get there xxxx
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oh i will im not letting the bstrd beat me dosn. i have had my really low time that was most of the time with him. once the anxiety subsides i will be ok. i am really angry angry for everyone on here. we didn’t deserve any of this.
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I think the anxiety is eased by antidepressants. I’ve been on them for a few months now and although I have low days and also still get anxious, it’s not as severe as it was before I started medication. I don’t want to be on them any longer than six months though. It’s a personal choice whether to take them or not, I just felt I was being physically torn apart by the pain in the chest, palpitations, sleeplessness and so on.
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its awful really awful thing to endure. i have felt like im going to die .
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i totally agree it knocks you off your feet i could cheerfully stay in bed and sleep it away. but that thing i used to live with is not having another piece of me hes had enough . i am going to be happy one day i will get my happy ever after. i have booked a holiday put myself on a diet i will work the backside off myself like always i DONT him i just need the anxiety to go away now.
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Oh my cat talks back alright… usually about 5 in the morning.. but she is my rock, I can tell her anything 😉 I’m not sure how much the medication is helping – I haven’t missed a dose yet. Will be interesting how I go when I come off them. ISS – no none of us deserve what we got at all, that’s why we have to look after number one now, be kind to ourselves and take our time. DIY.. yes great description- our brains do get fuzzy, because we are constantly on eggshells thinking about how they are going to react, if we’re doing the right thing… Fudge, I’m the same don’t really want to be on them long term if possible. Big hugs ladies, we’ll get through this together a day at a time xx
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i keep saying its a pity we are all scattered about the country. oh what a coffee morning we would have..
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lets do it ladies ile put the kettle on. i have woke thismorning with the worst anxiety yet itd even giving me a migraine not had one of them in years..but i am fighting it. its not going to ruin my day. i have too much to do before im back in work tomorrow
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that is exactly what gets me through the day the things that matters and of importance. you are all an inspiration and amazing
thank you
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your right but there is techniques you can use i read this in lundy bancrofts second book its the encouragement one its on amazon. so he says look to your left- focus on a colour for a minite then breath in feel a sense of your feet to your knees up to your head and concentrate just on that. then breath in and take in the air concentrate on how you feel and then listen to the sounds around you concentrate on that. its grounding yourself so that when youve done this the anxiety subsides xx sounds daft but it works xx
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i will try anything. i hate to use this phrase but its like he has infected me with a cancer i an fighting to cure. the hate atm is so strong its consuming me i have to keep busy so not to think of what he has done to me. i have just ordered a book called the secret by rhonda Byrne i read it years ago fave it away it was brilliant i recommend that to plus she has other self help books which are really goood. you can get them on audio too
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i know what you are saying the do invade our brains when we get out of the realtionship it all sinks in more and more. but i suppose we have to process it to get better and that really hard xx just take really small steps and be kind to yourself at this point and keep telling yourself none of this is personal also these men are the least reliable in their opinion on you often the put downs were actually their confession about how they feel about themselves xx
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i totally agree horrible scumbags i actually feel a bit bipolar today im on such a mental high its worrying x
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no i couldn’t get in again there was no pre bookable appointments. im hoping i can get one for Thursday im in work alday tomorrow. its a weird feeling i have today as if i am really mentally hyperactive.
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i don’t like the feeling its awful. feels like im on speed
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