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Increasingly there is recognition that angry/aggressive women might be victims of domestic abuse.
Not all victims are subdued and run around broken and voiceless.Time to recognize that there are women who are f*****g angry and they want to be heard.
I am one of them.
As long as I have not seen justice I will remain a f*****g angry victim who is rude to those who refuse to acknowledge the damage domestic abuse has done to me. -
We have a right to be angry…
For too long I pined over my abuser. Too often I was sad or depressed.
I read somewhere when we can hold on to our anger and self-indignation about the way they treated us, it can help set us free. And i noticed that in myself when i pine for him i go down this slippery slope of needing him, that ends with me feeling really awful… But when i get angry about the way he treated me, i feel my urge to be free of him in every way strengthen.
Truth be told At least for me, i dont want to be angry… I dont want to be upset or sad. I will always be upset when I hear about people suffering from abuse… But I want to be at peace… And happy… I am worth that.. So I am working on it. I want to be able to see that m**********r in the streets and not be scared… I want him to be just a memory.. Like a horrible dream… A loser i used to know.. -
Hi ayanna
Iam still angry myself .police made me out to be the liar and that I had an obbesion with him
What a crock of poo ayanna. Even if I was obbesed with my ex .I did not deserve the abuseKnown there is another victim and police did nothing Iam angry..where is the justice for us victims without witnesses.. or proper evidence
I was willing to fight him in court ..but I never got that chance .. I still suffer to this day .. it’s wrong so wrong -
Yes, I am f*****g angry that I was not rehoused.
I am f*****g angry that I lost the flat where I lived and paid all the bills.
I am f*****g angry that I lost the area where I liked to live so much.
I am f*****g angry that he got away with sexually abusing me.
I am f*****g angry that I was let down by the services that pretend to help.
I am f*****g angry that I was racially discriminated.
I am f*****g angry that I was divorced for unreasonable behaviour.
I am f*****g angry that I had to pay him to get rid of him.
I am f*****g angry at all those a*****e judges who protected his a*s.
I am just f*****g angry and I want to yell my anger out in the open and I will do it very soon and I will give a d**n s**t about it. -
Hi Ayanna,
Anger can make us stronger and you have every right to feel angry about the way you’ve been treated. It’s not just the abuse we suffer but also fighting for our rights to be free and happy. When you have to fight the system as well, it can feel like everything is stacked in their favour, I feel.
Just be careful not to let it take over your life. Perhaps you’re not ready yet, not rid of the anger your abuser and system put you through. But at least you’re free of him and can start living your life again. Make sure you make time to enjoy your freedom too. I’m not belittling you’re justified anger, just don’t want you to let him monopolise all your time and energy still. I’m still in my relationship and getting out and what he’s up to and trying to stay calm and cope with all this, is all I can think about. It sounds like you’ve been through hell fighting for every little victory . Don’t let him keep making you suffer. They keep telling me to take time out to relax and take care of me. I’m not very good at that, but I’m trying. Maybe if you have a good scream into a pillow then do something nice for yourself, or with a friend.
I can see how you would feel you haven’t had justice or support so are still very angry. I would be too, but try talking to someone, a counsellor maybe
You don’t have to let go of all your anger if you still have things to do, but don’t let it take over. He’s not worth it, but you deserve to start enjoying your life. Good luck -
It is not about him.
He is the cancer in this patriarchal system that had befallen me.
Look at the bigger picture.
Patriarchy destroys slowly everything what the suffragettes died for.
Women are not allowed to defend their lives against violent men. The punishment for them is extortionate whilst men can kill women and get away lightly. Rape is even worse. Women are expected to carry on as usual after rape.
I cannot do that.
It is too late.
The lack of support was too long.
Something has happened with me which I cannot reverse. -
I’m angry at the agencies that messed up. At the avoidable errors they made at my expense. From the police to the courts to the prosecution to the solicitors to psychological services. Both men and women. I consider myself lucky to be still standing. I direct my anger and my trauma at changing this system and it brings me some sort of peace. It’s how I deal with my trauma. I’m not angry at my ex. I don’t waste emotion on him anymore. He’s not worth it. He’s not even original.
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i am angry too. Anger that this has been happening throughout history and so few comparitively, understand it, and the awful impact that has on survivors. that those in a position of power still don’t understand.
The profile of Domestic Abuse is rising, and its hard to avoid now, its always in the news, but on a day-to-day level, I was confused, I didn’t know or understand what was happening to me and it took a long time of a roller-coaster to get to an understanding of what it was and its effects, so I can see why it is so difficult for others who may not have been so unlucky.
What does really get my goat is when highly paid professionals are still making ill-informed ignorant decisions about survivors and perpetrators, without looking further into it for themselves.
Why perps are not jumped on immediately!
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yes it was my rage (such a powerful feeling) that enabled me to get out of my abusive relationship. But it was tricky. I had to feel it, sit with it but not act on it, immediately (to reap the Power from it). That was so hard. Not to act on it. But it moved me from powerlessness to proper guided action.
With the minimum contact with him my anger is negligible and this Forum has helped me let go of my anger feeling towards my ex and my abusive mum. I have moved into indifference I hope (once I stay clear of them). I’m glad about this because abusers’ do what they do to get a huge emotion out of us (anger being one of them) because they know us empaths have a huge sense of justice and doing the right thing so they target us knowing that if they carry out certain actions (abuse) they will get the delicious fuel (our anger) dripping from us and they are delighted to have affected our life in this way. They don’t have a life (their quest for our and others’ hurt/upset/anger drives them daily) and they want us not to have a life either and be consumed what they did to us and the affect they had on us (which was appalling and they know it).
The best revenge is eventually letting go of the hurt (takes lots of hard work and time on our part) and moving on. Learning to really live our life to the full. Thriving not just surviving. Thank God for this Forum because this is where I have learnt to do this from all the posts shared on here.
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Oh dear….just bumped it my ex after (detail removed by Moderator) years and turned into a complete mad woman….I’m a professional woman who should know better but my anger boils over when I see him. I’m very happy to be out of the relationship and have a good job and house….but that (detail removed by Moderator) nearly destroyed me. I have moved on but forgive I can’t.
keep strong women…X
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Anger is way better than fear. I am angry that lots of counsellors said it was just a couple problem. I am angry that his counsellors gave fuel to his fire by saying I was a commitment phobe because I left. I am angry that it gets twisted around that I left poor him. I’m angry that I am left on my own struggling. I am angry and being told what to do how to feel. Good on you those that are using your anger to change the system. Still in our society this isn’t talked about enough and I am angry at how many times I have been told just to take it or he was just stressed. No more fear x
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