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Am in the anniversary period of when I left. Freaking out inside. I can just remember the fear, secretly getting things away from the home safely (thank God for Royal Mail).
And then I come crashing down with thoughts of how destroyed I was in the trial. I normally tell myself I am safe, but even though nothing has changed, I don’t feel safe any more. I’ve started looking over my shoulder again.
Night time was when he attacked me so I’m not sleeping at night.
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Thank you
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Good morning to you. Hope it is justholding. Athough, If you have been awake all night? or On and off maybe? You won’t be feeling it’s a good morning or that mornings are a good time of day either, possibly? I’m guessing? you may be at this time of day, asleep, due to severe exhaustion. I hope you are able to catch up on vital rest? It won’t be doing your mind and body any good at all if you are regularly losing sleep. I have Just thought…very probably this could be contributing to your anxiety if it’s been happening for a while? the fact that you mentioned… “started to look over your shoulder again” is a bit of a giveaway to something changeing? in your thought processes. You clearly have thought about things a lot and that’s understandable, given what happened to you. If your having nightmares also, anytime your trying to sleep? this is very common in victims who experience PTSD (like me) ity enough to make you put off sleeping! Particularly at night! I just wonder if you have thought of this? and if you know if your affected by this? Maybe, it will help you to feel calmer if you realise this is what might be happening to you? Although none of us welcomes realising we maybe or are experiencing this, because, it is another reminder to victims that it follows trauma and abuse. But knowing it’s suffered does mean it can be addressed hopefully. I myself am waiting now to get help and support at some point? Since being recently assessed and showing markers for PTSD. Unfortunately, Due to the current lockdown it’s going to be slowing things down. But it will be helpful eventually, I’m hoping. Hope this helps you in some way💞
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Sleeping during the day is easier. Waking up to being attacked has left its marks on me.
I was supposed to be starting trauma therapy in March, but that’s got all messed up and will probably never happen now.
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