Anniversary (detail removed by Moderator)

[Neueranfang]

(detail removed by Moderator) ago, he moved out after one final attack.But (detail removed by Moderator) on, he is still causing so much pain and stress daily.We have got two kids together and ‘no contact’ is almost impossible.I’m finding it so hard to involve him in the children’s lives but exclude him from my life.I was on anti depressants (detail removed by Moderator) after the break up, then came off them because I took the kids abroad for (detail removed by Moderator) weeks and didn’t have to deal with him.Only arrange phone calls with the kids but now I’m back on anti depressants as it has been so very difficult recently.One of our children was very ill at the beginning of (detail removed by Moderator) and I had to stay with him in Intensive care while our other child was being looked after by my ex and his family.While I was in the hospital, I had to let my ex back in our lives.He took our other son to his football games and training and got to know the people I surrounded myself with(detail removed by Moderator).Now he wants to control everything to do with the football.He knows I am taking our son (detail removed by Moderator) and he is blocked on every device but he still got his mother to message me (detail removed by Moderator) to ask where the game is.I didn’t tell her.But my son already mentioned the location to him (detail removed by Moderator) but not the time.I’m praying he won’t turn up.But now I have to deal with the anxiety.He promised me a million times (detail removed by Moderator) that he will and can change but he clearly can’t.He’s been sending me abusive messages for weeks regarding the other parents at the football training.He can’t bear the thought I am talking to them while our son is playing.My son’s friend asked my son (detail removed by Moderator) if he wants to go for (detail removed by Moderator) which we have done before and my ex lost it afterwards.Not in front of the other child and mum but he questioned my son on the way home and then sent me abusive messages from other people’s phones (detail removed by Moderator).About I should concentrate on my own family and fixing my own family instead of going for (detail removed by Moderator) with other families.He is so irrational.(detail removed by Moderator) , nothing has changed.I had counselling but what’s the point if he won’t leave me alone?

[Twisted Sister]

Hi this level of abuse, resulting in your needing to take medications to cope is totally unacceptable.

I am so sorry you are suffering such anxiety, but yes, they are like water, you block up one leak and just as fast another leak appears and in it comes, again. Any tiny crack.

At this level you need to keep all these messages and note in detail the effect it is having on you and the way he is using and punishing your children to track you and still try to exert control through fear and punishment, and secure yourself a non-mol, preventing him from messaging you (no matter who’s phone its from), and from having any contact with the children unless he is around other people, so no child to be in a car, or anywhere, alone with him. Thats real scarey for a child for their father to do this to them.

The poor children are the most easily manipulated and vulnerable aren’t they.

This has to stop, and you need to also cite your example of how you didn’t require any medications whilst away from him.

Make sure it has power of arrest with it for any breaches, so a single text from him, he could be arrested for breaking it.

warmest wishes

ts

[Neueranfang]

Thanks for your reply.
I know this has to stop but I don’t know how.I’m working full-time, studying part-time and all my family are abroad.I’ve got two kids to to provide for and look after without any financial help.
I’m exhausted…even the thought of reporting him or making an application for an order freaks me out.I been there before and then things calmed down for a while but now it’s back to full on abuse.
However, I am keeping all the evidence and I know I shouldn’t let him get away with it.But if I report him, his family will stop contact again and my children love having them in their lives and their dad.It is just all too much…

[Author]

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