Another awful Mother’s Day

[Kellym]

Nearly (detail removed by Moderator) of Mother’s Day ruined

I have multiple things in place now and I’m no longer in love, I am in a HUGE trauma bond, my children are witnessing awful violence how to I do this safely!

(detail removed by Moderator) he ended up snapping over completely mishearing something and punched the hell out of me infront of the kids. Literally big powerful blows at full force I’m in so much pain, my breasts, my legs, my arms, He is so obsessive over one of the kids he wants their constant attention they’re not allowed to be close to me but how sad as I write this I realise even more how sad it is that we have a secret bond that is stronger than any they have with him it’s like we know we have to act a certain way around him so he thinks he is the centre of everyone’s universe, what a lonely life

My safe person told my family about the abuse so now I have no one, I don’t know how I get out safely I just managd to get a property all on my name so that can’t be taken from me but he has paid so much money getting it done up he’s now in debt and using it against me I told him earlier I wasn’t happy and he threatened to kill himself and I can’t let that happen for my children so I begged him back

I feel so trapped I ended up “admitting” it was my fault and he agreed and said I deserve every punch

I’ve never had a nice Mother’s Day that it’s a day I now dread even when the kids come home with presents from the school shop I hate being excited because I can feel him judging them for loving me

I really don’t know how I ended up here I really am a laid back, gentle person, I have gone into detail before about the horrific abuse I go through but I don’t know how to get out

An awful awful day I hope everyone managed to enjoy there’s as much as they could just needed some support really today

[Better-days]

Kellym I hope you are ok if u get a chance pleases contact your local woman’s aid they will be very supportive. I can’t imagine what u are going through to be hurt like that infront of your kids is heartbreaking please keep safe and let us know you are ok big hugs x

[nbumblebee]

Oh gosh my heart broke when i read your post I came on here to see if anyone else had had a rubbish mothers day like mine but wow mine wasnt in anyway as bad as what you are going through. I dont know what to say i wanna say run get out go to WA get yourself safe but i also know this is pointless as you are so bonded you fear its impossible to leave i get it.
Know that you deserve more way way more sweetie this does not have to be your life it really doesnt.
When you can reach out I believe there is help out there for women like you and its ready when you are until then stay safe do all you can to stay safe xxxxxx

[Bananaboat]

Like the others my heart broke reading this. What an evil, nasty man to hurt you so badly and especially infront of the kids. Please please reach out for help, I know it’s scary but you and your kids deserve so much more. What’s stopping you from calling the police? What would you say to one of your children if this was happening to them?

You ‘ended up’ here because you’re a caring, strong person who sees the good in people and wants to help them, but sadly those traits are being abused by someone who only cares about themselves and it’s harming you and your kids. Step one, picture in your mind what you’d love next Mothers Day to look like and take steps towards it. Your kids only get a handful of Christmases, birthdays, mothers days etc, for you and them to enjoy. That was a wake up call to me to realise I didn’t want their childhood to be bad memories. You’ve got this, you’re stronger than you realise but stay safe xx

[Stargazing1]

@Kellym , I am so very sorry to hear what is happening for you . You truly do not deserve what is happening too you . My heart breaks whilst reading what you have posted . I would like to think you can get away from this situation as quickly as possible because it sounds like you are at your wits ends and understandably so . If there is any way you can get any help to help you get away from this situation go for it . You and your children deserve so much better than this . I really do hope you can get all the help you need to get away safely because no one deserves to be having to put up with this behaviour. My heart also goes out to you having to deal with the physical pain you have to deal with I truly am so very sorry you are in so much pain . Please take care of yourself and please try to keep yourself as safe as possible. Sending GIGANTIC BIG HUGS TO YOU.

[Lisa]

Hi Kellym,

I am so sorry to hear about what you and your children are going through, it sounds really distressing and frightening for all of you.

I wanted to let you know I have sent you a private message with some support so do take a look when you can.

It takes such courage to reach out for support and to talk about abuse. You do not have to go through this alone- there is support for you and your children. Local domestic abuse services can often offer ongoing emotional and practical support. Details of your local service can be found here. They will understand how frightening and overwhelming it is to ask for help but by reaching out for support you are doing the right thing to protect yourself and your children.

There is also support from a Women’s Aid worker via our Live Chat service (open every day including weekends). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here.

Please do check your private messages for my support message I sent to you earlier.

Take care and let us know how you are when you are able to.

Lisa

[Allornothing]

I am so so sorry to hear this, what an awful thing for you and your kids to go through. I just wanted to add to what others have said, you recognise now that what he is doing is wrong – that is a massive first step and as most of us know, the journey to leaving can be a long one but please know that we are all here to support you. Also, they often seem to threaten suicide and from my experience, it is an empty threat as they will use your kindness to rope you back in. Even though you are a kind person, he will start to chip away at that but you will become stronger. Please don’t doubt yourself, you know yourself and your circumstances and it is never a case of just getting up and leaving but this is hopefully the start of you feeling supported for when you can leave and get help. Sending you lots of love xx

[Author]

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