Another Challenge Ahead

[Strongenough]

Hi,

I have another upcoming challenge in my quest for freedom from my abusive ex. I can’t go into much detail on this platform but I have been fighting ongoing issues for sometime through the proper channels.

I need to muster some fighting spirit and courage eventhough I’m really tired and drained.

Any words of encouragement or advice would be greatly appreciated from this wonderful support network.

[needadviceplease]

Hi,

The fact that you’ve been fighting for some time shows you have the strength and the courage to do it. Whatever the problem is – you’ve pushed through it before and you can again. It might help to give yourself a self care day, have a bath or shower and relax doing something you enjoy even just watching something on tele to nurture that drained and tired feeling. You can’t be 100% all the time and that’s absolutely fine.

You are stronger than you know, whatever it is – you CAN do it. We’re all rooting for you, if it’s safe and you feel comfortable to do so please let us know how you get on and if you need anymore encouragement for the final push. Xx

[Strongenough]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I will definitely share what details I can once it’s been dealt with.

This forum has got me through so much over a long period and people like you have given me strength in my darkest of times. I am so grateful for your reply, sometimes you just need to hear it from someone who understands. ❤

[Lifebegins]

Hi Strongenough

I just posted a similar reply on nbumblebee’s post – it seems that a good many of us are feeling battle fatigued at the moment and just want to catch a break. In a strange way, it’s made me feel better reading your posts in that it’s not just me (but I wouldn’t want to wish a hard time on you to make me feel better if that makes sense).

I am in exactly the same position fighting ongoing issues with my ex through the proper channels. I went through a really low period at beginning of this month as another year has started and I’m still not fully free of him and continuing legal/financial issues. It’s exhausting. I definitely allowed myself to wallow in it for a bit and feel despondent and sorry for myself and then I felt angry and resentful and then I started to have enough of that, so I started taking steps to lift myself out of the funk.

If you can, I would suggest maybe taking a few days off thinking about what you’ve got to do completely and doing some nice stuff for you. I do love walking, cooking, eating etc so I did some of that and it lifted my spirits. I put an ‘unavailable until xx/xx/xx’ on my email, ‘call xxxxxxx if urgent’ and then didn’t check my emails for a week which I didn’t realise but this was a huge factor in my stress levels. I vented to my counsellor and family member and that was a real relief and me I would definitely recommend and I did a daily gratitude (an idea is to write them on a scrap of paper and put in a jar to look at later if you’re feeling down).

When I was feeling a bit more like my old self, I wrote a big ole to do list breaking down what I need to do and prioritising. And I’m working through it. It’s giving me focus and I’m getting satisfaction from crossing off the tasks.

I also booked a holiday, my first girls holiday in many many many years and something I could never do when with my ex and that has spurred me on when I’ve felt like giving up and running away this month.

Someone said to me to remember how far you’ve come. It was really powerful as despite how I’m feeling now, I know I’ve come such a long way. I say the same to you.

We are going to have the lives we deserve. We are amazing women that have more strength than we ever thought possible. We’re on the path and we’ll get there – we just need to have the right mindset along the way.

Keep strong hun and sending you a big hug 🤗 xx

[Strongenough]

Thank you I have done a lot of similar things you mention, I definitely do need a few days off just to recharge. I keep telling myself I can plug in to this anxiety and fear or detach from it, this helps my mind set as it makes me feel in control.

Your right, I too have a holiday to look forward to and lots of other positives in my life. This storm will pass.

[Footballfan1]

Hi Strongenough,

You are so brave and strong, you have already come so far.
Keep the finish line in sight, it’s often at the end of the race that we find the hardest.

I love Lifebegins reply, she is so right.
We all support each other and get through one step at a time.

I also noticed how down everyone seems to be right now, including me.

It’s probably a January slump.

I have been reading posts for the past week, but this is the first one I had the energy to reply to.
I feel bad because lots of women are struggling and I haven’t had the energy to support in any way.
X

[Strongenough]

Footballfan1, I have been the same, I’ve read some posts and felt so down I’ve not been able to reply, I felt a bit guilty posting today feeling like I am taking but not giving. I’ve struggled the last few months with energy levels, illness and lack of motivation. My schedule has been jam packed at work and it’s left very little time for me or anything else

Your right I’ve done some really hard things since I left, things I never imagined I’d have to do in my life. I suppose the next challenge is just another task to complete, another experience that I will take on and hopefully some day I can use my experiences to help others.

I hope you feel better soon, and hopefully we can catch up in the positive moments section soon! X

[Footballfan1]

You shouldn’t feel guilty for posting, you are a great support on this forum, you offer plenty of advice and kindness.

Be kind to yourself now, offer yourself the same care you give to others.
Last night I just chilled in my bed resting, I feel loads better today.
The kids were with me , they enjoyed a bit of time together even though we weren’t doing much.
We had some good talks and I told them how brave and strong they are.
Usually during the school and work week, we don’t have a lot of time.
I feel well rested today and looking forward to the weekend.
We are going to do some baking and go for a walk to feed the ducks.
Got some little jobs to get done after the kids have had their exercise, I think they will chill whilst I do my chores xx

[Strongenough]

Sounds like bliss! I can fully appreciate these type of weekends. I hope you and the kids have a lovely time. I too will try and take some self care this weekend.

[nbumblebee]

Ahhh sweetie I feel your pain. Im ready to give up.
You are incredable have been through so much have fought so hard for your freedom women like you give women like me so much hope and strength and courage.
Its so easy for me to sit here and say keep fighting keep moving towards that end goal when im here stuck done finished feeling really sorry for myself but as I write it to you I actually start to believe it for myself too.
Im not good at much but fighting hanging on in there I can do and so can you right? We got this x

[Strongenough]

Nbumblebee, of course we can, your right, thank you so much x ❤️

[Watersprite]

I’m sorry you face more challenges I call it the sting in the tail from leaving. Those leopards don’t change their spots. I’m further down the line it took years but for now everything crossed those challenges have stopped – just saying to give you hope. But it is so exhausting and can feel overwhelming. Can you take a day or two off and spend it taking care of yourself focussing on you and your needs and give your mind a rest before you get back at it – the brave woman you are xx

[Strongenough]

Thanks for giving me that hope I do feel like it’s never going to end sometimes. I am going to try and relax over the next couple of days.

[Author]

Posts