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    • #14520
      Serenity
      Participant

      As I was in a well-known supermarket this evening, and found some beautiful clothes reduced to next to nothing ( makes a change from my charity shop finds!), I recalled how my ex not only didn’t ever buy the kids or I anything, and did not only get angry if I bought anything for myself or the kids, but he’d actually abuse us because of it!

      For example, if I bought a new outfit I loved, he would make a snide comment later on and make fun of how I looked, just to wreck my happiness. I felt like hiding away and felt ugly and ridiculous.

      My teenage son was scared to experiment with his appearance whilst his dad lived here, as he knew his dad would laugh at any expression of his individuality. When his dad left, the first thing he got was a mad haircut!

      X

    • #14556
      White Rose
      Participant

      That really used to get to me too.
      “What are you wearing” “have you been buying more new things again” “where did you get that – the local hippy colony” “Oh my god you’re not going out dressed in that are you?” etc etc. I now have a phobia about shopping – I’ve had panic attacks in changing rooms trying to justify buying a tee shirt and still always get a gift receipt as I inevitably take things back.
      I look like a wreck most of the time – I’m running out of clothes now as they are falling apart they are so old, but I can’t face buying myself things as I still hear his comments.
      He hated me buying things for our daughter. She learned the phrase ” I like that mum, is it too expensive?” by h time she was in school – she uses it today. Not a bad thing but so sad really that as a young child she had to ask. She now has an eye for a bargain and like me is an avid charity shop enthusiast.
      Will these flash backs go I wonder?

    • #14562
      Peaceful Pig
      Participant

      Getting dressed is so much easier now and shopping, it’s taken two years but I’m mostly comfortable with how I look now. It used to be agony trying to get it right, which was impossible. A while ago he bought a new t-shirt for my daughter and then on another occasion when she wore it, told her she looked ridiculous.

    • #14565
      Ayanna
      Participant

      I went through the same. He dressed himself up and I had to appear like an ugly mouse beside him, so that he could get all the attention. On top of this he reminded me how unsightly I was.
      I wrote that before, that I looked at pictures from the relationship and actually, even with my plain clothes, I was a pretty girl by his side, far too pretty for this a….
      How could I ever believe him ?????

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