This topic contains 6 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  torpefy 2 weeks, 5 days ago.

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  • #71790
     torpefy 
    Participant

    I left an abusive relationship several years ago, and continue to be harassed albeit at a distance for now. I’ve been advised the risk remains high and I should get another non Molestation order. This will be my (detail removed by Moderator) year.
    Has anyone else experienced this for so long? I just wonder if it will ever end?
    (detail removed by Moderator) The problem is the non mol expires and I have to constantly repeat the process. It never ends.
    In the mean time he loves the game.
    He has made a threat to kill and also injured himself and accused me of stabbing him to have me arrested, so he really does go to extreme lengths, just can’t see the light.

  • #71792
     KIP. 
    Participant

    I’ve been through similar. Ask them for a longer non molestation order using the fact that he continues to breach them and you feel it’s the only option left. Speak to you MP and get the support of victim support and women’s aid. Look into the legal side of things. Is a civil non harassment order better than a non molestation order? The bottom line is if it keeps you safe then you need to apply. Especially if you need him arrested. Being anonymous on the electoral roll is 5 years so you could use this for your solicitor to argue for a 5 year non mol or non harrassment order. Yes they love the game. (detail removed by Moderator)

  • #71793
     KIP. 
    Participant

    There are new anti stalking laws that the police may be able to use. Is there a domestic abuse officer dealing with your case? Try speaking to Paladin. You need to think outside the box.

  • #71802
     torpefy 
    Participant

    I have very recently been dealing with specialist police, the first officer was amazing but the rest don’t seem so in board.
    The issue is because what he currently does is trivial (I think due to non Molestation order keeping him at bay) these incidents don’t result in any action taken as they are open to interpretation. I know exactly how they are intended of course!
    I have enlisted the help of my MP (detail removed by Moderator)
    For instance one incident was (detail removed by Moderator) addressed to me but emailed direct to my solicitor. My non mol and bail said communication relating to child contact. This had nothing to do with child contact and was harassing, and pestering in nature (also prohibited). Another incident (detail removed by Moderator) letter, he threatened (detail removed by Moderator) to have me sectioned under the mental health act alledging I was unsafe to look after my daughter. All very malicious but It’s constantly like this up and down. The last (detail removed by Moderator) he’s done things like parked up at a friends work place(detail removed by Moderator). Knowing she will inform me he’s in town.
    I do worry what will happen or how far he will go if there’s nothing to stop him. Often when he has a new partner I get a fairly quiet life, but police disclosure has proven he has continued to be abusive/stalk subsequent partners. (detail removed by Moderator)

    When you say get the support of women’s aid what exactly do you mean? Can they make letters of recommendation for instance?

  • #71806
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Women’s aid should be able to put you in touch with a good solicitor who has knowledge of this kind of behaviour. Maybe change the wording of the non mol to prevent all contact. Use a third party for contact regarding the children. They should be able to support you(detail removed by Moderator). Have contact to other organisations that may be helpful. Ring the helpline on here or find your local branch.

  • #71808
     still…i…rise 
    Participant

    Hi (detail removed by Moderator). (detail removed by Moderator) you could request a 5 year one instead of the standard 1 year? I’m sure if he has continually harassed you they would be able to do this. I don’t know why these vile men cannot just move on and continue to behave in this way! It makes it so hard to move on with your life. Sending you lots of love.

  • #71845
     torpefy 
    Participant

    Thanks everyone.
    (detail removed by Moderator) Child saw some of the DV too at the end and this has hugely impacted on her also. There is no need to discuss child contact at this stage (or foreseeable future) (detail removed by Moderator) but this doesn’t stop him trying to ask because he doesn’t like the outcome. Trying to juggle work, single mum holding everything together, I’m sure his intention is to cause me so much stress that it break me.
    It’s just so concerning these small number of individuals who really slip through the net tome and time again with no punishment for there tourment. So unjust.

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