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    • #166547

      The length of ‘OK time’ between abusive episodes is getting shorter. The amount of verbal and emotional abuse is getting worse.

      Went away as a family for a few days recently. Was told that I have finally achieved my one ambition and have become wider than I am tall, that I look like dogs**t, and that everyone around him is embarrassed because he’s married to ‘that’. I am struggling today. Can’t get those words out of my head. Trying to keep it together and not spend the day crying.

      Yeah, my weight and appearance have suffered these last few years… and it’s because of him. I’m knackered, have no social life and no self-respect and really no life outside this house, which is becoming a prison. Really starting to think it’s time to call time on this. I don’t know how I’d live though, our lives are so financially entangled. Sometimes, when he’s like this, I think he’d kick me out now if he didn’t worry about me getting custody of our child. (But if he did, who would do all the d**n house work for him? He’s convinced that he ‘does everything’ in this house but he hasn’t cooked himself a meal or done his own laundry for over a decade…)

      His family are trying to keep a ‘you’re both as bad as each other and need to learn to communicate better’ stance (where do I start? What am I actually supposed to ***ing do when he starts yelling insults at me in front our our child?). I think if I leave then a lot of them will just turn against me. I can’t risk losing custody of my child because what if he manages to persuade everyone else that everything is my fault…

      I’m exhausted. Not sure I can do this for years until my child turns 18.

    • #166551
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      Believe me he’s more scared of losing you than you are of losing him! Like you say you do everything and he’s probably forgotten how to turn the darn washing machine on. His family will most likely be like him (after all he got it from somewhere) so don’t worry about losing them, they’re not here to support you otherwise they wouldn’t be making excuses for him. Deep breaths, maybe start looking at your options – there’s no rush to jump ship but it’ll make you feel a bit more in control x

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