Another row of abuse

[BlueberryField]

So I recently wrote a post about how my abusive partner is ignoring me while being away.
So (detail removed by Moderator) he randomly messaged me and just started digging at me. I didn’t call him a bad name, been sarcastic or in any other way nasty to him. He just started calling me all these nasty names and using manipulation to tell me that I was the one who ruined our relationship and him as a ‘man’. He keeps trying to get into my head by making me think that I want and one day will have another relationship and family. I DON’T WANT TO. I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE WITH MY CHILD. I don’t want him living with us. I don’t want another man beside me or other mens attention. I want peace in my life, I want to enjoy my life by there being just me and my child. I want to start loving MYSELF again. I know he’s just trying to dig at me by trying to convince that I need someone else. I know better, what I need but I’m so sick of this.
After he started calling me all these nasty names again and telling me different ways of how I should kill myself, I started looking for solicitors who specialize in Domestic Violence. I send couple of them requests for free consultations. I guess at least this one small thing should be a ‘positive’ thing of the whole day. I just need to know more ways that I can protect myself and my child in case if he tried to take him away by force or take me to court. I feel like keeping a diary is not enough and that I wouldn’t be believed because of this. Even though I always tell myself I’m not scared of him, but really I AM TERRIFIED of him and he knows this.
I hope I will get those free consultations, because he never tells me when he will be away until the very last minute, but this time I know he will be away for certain days and I hope they will be available for consultations during those days even though it’s a short notice.

I’m currently waiting on a live chat too, hopefully to create a safety plan too.

[Lisa]

Hi BlueberryField,

Thank you for sharing with us. It sounds like you have made some positive steps with requesting consultations and seeking safety planning advice. I hope the consultations work out for when you are able to discuss everything safely.

Keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[StrongLife]

I have found living alone without men very peaceful.
I have had offers of dates etc however not interested.

I have women surrounding me who are in relationships and some not. The ones who are not are all good, working and very independent.

[BlueberryField]

I guess there are a lot of people who think that if a woman is alone, there’s something wrong with her. But not many people realise that some women maybe choose to stay single after extremely traumatic/abusive past relationships or maybe because they simply want to. There is nothing wrong with that.

I personally wouldn’t be able to trust anybody around me and especially my child. And it doesn’t mean that every man in this world is abusive or bad, wbo can’t truly love and respect a woman, but I would still rather be by myself than be with someone else.

[Author]

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