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Hello all. I hope you’re all having a lovely weekend. I had quite a horrendous day after his communication via his Solicitor but I’ve calmed down now and made the best plan of action possible. I’ve found a way to preserve my weekends and my feelings during this time and I’m glad 😊. I can hear less and less chaos in my heart and my mind and I can hear life. It’s amazing. I can hear other people in their gardens I can hear cars on the main road and one thing I love about the world is you step outside and you forget your problems and what’s going on with your life. You get totally absorbed with the way of life that you don’t even want to think about what happening to you. Life after abuse is tranquil and it’s just the way I love it. I’m comfortable and calm in my surroundings. I’ve also stopped talking to my family about how I feel but today my mum encouraged me to sit out in the sun with her she involved me in things and spoke to me more about stuff. She couldn’t believe it when I told her that he tried to rape me but I made sure that didn’t happen I protected myself. I think the break through is the fact that he can’t hurt me anymore he’s trying through the divorce but I’ve ended this all now. I can start to hear and feel things I forgot existed and I know October will be the best social month for me in years. Being around people who genuinely care about you helps so so much. So ladies whatever place you are in and whatever is happening please believe me when I say there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Your life matters, you matter, your happiness matters and you’re all such beautiful souls. I told my mum about this forum today and she was really impressed with it and I said I don’t feel alone in this because there are some really caring, inspiring wonderful ladies on here that are helping me in my day to day life. I just wanted to thank you all. Each day is a step closer to my recovery coming to an end that’s how I will see it. Thank you all so so much x*x
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It’s not really like this though is it? I’m lying in my bedroom balling my eyes out that someone could be so cruel!!!! How could anyone treat me like this? The pain surrounding a divorce is horrendous but when abuse has been involved it’s just heartbreaking. I feel as gbuvg my insides have been taken out its the worst pain ever!!!! How I will ever trust a man again I do not know! I just want someone to tell me it will be ok. All I wanted was to be treated with decency and respect and someone to love me for who I am not try to destroy who I am. I will never ever ever forgive this man ever!!! I just want to wake up and I want this whole nightmare to be over. I wish I never met him!!!
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It’s the letters I can’t deal with. Do I really need to see his chaos in letters from his solicitor to mine? Can I not just have the core points broken down and sent to me? I’m going to do body combat this week I’ve booked myself in and going to kick the absolute sh*t out of his face. I’m going to buy some boxing gloves and literally box the hell out of boxing pads at the gym!!! I need to kick a*s!!!!!!
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I skimmed a lot of the letters from his solicitor to mine. I couldn’t bear reading them. They triggered me.
I also asked my family, for a while, to read some of the communications, and just relay the important info to me. This was so that it was delivered in their voice, not his.
Before I blocked my ex, a relative used to read his texts for me and ‘sanitise them’- that is, leave out all the harsh words and just inform me of the basic points.
Can anyone help you with this?
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