Anxiety thoughts

[Forsaken03]

I always considered myself strong, until I got into an abusive relationship. I got out, feeling numbed, enraged, frustrated.
I sleep poorly as I keep dreaming I’m still there or my mind keeps replaying parts of what happened.
I’m depressed, anxious and it’s really hard going to work and try to focus there as I don’t want anybody seeing me like this.
I’m hurt and traumatised and I feel like anything I do goes wrong. I want to make myself invisible and just, I don’t know, just try to process somehow a way to start healing.
Maybe I make it harder by fighting my feelings and telling myself that I shouild be better and I should be grateful for another day. Which I am, don’t get me wrong. It’s still these feelings that are stuck on my mind and in my throat.
I am exhausted and I don’t know which way to go, I feel lost and like nothing can make me smile and I feel so unhappy.

[Lisa]

Dear Forsaken03,

Welcome to the forum and thank you posting. I’m sorry to read how you’re feeling at the moment; you explain normal and valid feelings post traumatising abuse. It can sometimes be the case that at the point of separation you’re in fight or flight mode, and having to deal with all the practical elements of getting out, then the emotions come crashing down. You’ve done the right thing by reaching out, and I can see you’ve had some good replies on the other thread.

If you haven’t contacted your local domestic abuse service I suggest doing so to see what support you can access, such as group programmes or counselling.
Also, the MIND website, although not DA specific, has some very helpful resources for coping with anxiety, low mood and everyday stress. Starting small, like trying to do some simple self care, like a walk outside, or some breathing exercises, can be a good start. The strong woman you mention is still there, try to be kind and patient with yourself.

Keep posting to let us know how you are, this forum can be so helpful to learn from others who understand what you’ve been through,

Lisa

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Forsaken03

The main consideration for you to focus on is your safety. If you are now safe, you can start emphasising that for yourself. It is quite a shock when all these feelings and difficulties come up after leaving abuse, and if you treat it like a long illness, where you would normally rest as much as you can, and feed yourself up, and take what exercise you can, then be patient with yourself as your time to heal moves on, and it will, but it will also be good to treat yourself lots. There is no better time to spoil and treat and pamper yourself, as you let yourself heal and gradually take in new and better aspects to your life.

We all have our things that feel like a special treat, and now is the time for you to bring them all out in buckets for yourself, indulge and be kind to yourself.

warmest wishes

ts

[Forsaken03]

Good morning,

@Lisa, @Twistedsister – many thanks for all of your advice and good thoughts, they are so welcomed, I will take up to it and start taking steps into healing.
I will come back with updates, in case it may help other sisters in the same situation.

Thanks

[Author]

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