anxious

[GrumbleBear]

So I’m out (detail removed by moderator) this morning for (detail removed by moderator) – first problem is I see them all the time at work. Out tonight (detail removed by moderator) for drinks, okay I didn’t officially tell him until this morning but it has been on the calendar for weeks! He will now continually confirm plans, times, why I’m going, who’s going, what it’s for etc etc. Lots of huffing, I’m being overly cheerful so it’s like it’s no big deal (which it isn’t). This is one of the boundaries I’m putting in – going out is allowed, it just doesn’t feel normal yet.

My children finish school for 2 weeks Easter break (detail removed by moderator) which makes me anxious as neither they nor I have the security of that support network.

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Grumblebear

Are you out, as in left him? or are you talking about having a long time plan to go out socialising tonight, or both? I couldn’t piece together the bits of what yu were saying to be sure.

I’m glad you are getting out, good for you still making plans outside especially as it sounds like Easter might be a bit lacking for you socially. Can you put daytime arrangements in place to meet with other mums/kids over the holidays, which perhaps wouldn’t make his so suspicious as a nighttime outting? I am not advocating anyone downscale plans for an abuser, but rather its a thought to safety, whilst still being able to access the support you say you will miss. If you can set one or two things up, you may feel more supported and less anxious. I hope you can make some plans, both for your own sake but for your children’s also.

warmest wishes

ts

[GrumbleBear]

Sorry I had quickly written it before going out and didn’t explain very well. It was out socialising. I’m working next week so going out during the day isn’t an option but it doesn’t really matter if i’m out on my own with friends or out for the day with my children and friends – he has and will have a problem with both. He has been okay so far actually which is quite bizarre. Not sure what is going on at all!

I expect there may be more issues as next week goes on as he works from home since covid and the children will be home too 🙄

[Twisted Sister]

Hi, no need to say sorry, I couldn’t pick the threads of your post because there were many deletions, so your first words were ‘I am nout’, so I tried to piece together what I could of what was left, which is the only reason I wasn’t sure, not what you’d written, sorry I wshould have been clearer about that.

I hope next week works out ok and you can all stay out of his way, somehow!

[Author]

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