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I’m just wondering how I go about finding out how to separate, over the past three weeks things have gotten so bad I’m broken. We aren’t married but own a house together our finances are in twined and I just know if I tell him that I want to separate it will be massive s**t show, he will go for the children and will slander me with all his might! Just wish I could run 🏃♀️
But then I think oh what if I’m making all this up, I’m the bad person, and I go from leave to stay because the thought of starting a war ( he will see it like that) I don’t know if I’m strong enough!
And be finically free to go! -
Hi Sunshinedrops, your instinct is telling you he will create a s***show, trust yourself. The last 3 weeks you say he has got worse, that’s because he senses a shift in you.
If you email your local CAB they can sign post and help you re your home. Also, have you contacted your local Womans Aid? They are amazing help.and. confidential. Can you make an appointment to see a trusted GP? (CAB, GP, WA all helped me to escape my abusive husband, with the support I separated after many many years.
There’s help out there, financial help too… accept as much help as you can. I was told by my support worker not to discuss separation with my husband as he would use it against me, it felt strange and I felt guilty/deceitful but it is necessary as these men are not rational, they accept no responsibility for their behaviours and always blame others (usually you but anyone will do to take the blame for their abuse/moods etc).
Keep posting ❤️
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Oooh thank you my lovely for responding back!, I work in the community within (detail removed by moderator) field and I feel so vulnerable looking towards my women aid group! I love to help other people it’s my job, but turn the lime light on me I feel like shrinking violet!
In away I would always advise to seek help, so why do I feel so ashamed to do so, it’s actually harder than I ever thought to get advice, because I feel I’m in denial, im minimising and thinking oooh it’s not that bad! But in reality I have no sense of what’s the truth any more, I’m suffering from high anxiety 😟 my guts turning all the time. I’ve read posts of such lovely women on here been extremely supportive with each other about discovering emotional abuse. And I’m still like ummmm how do you explain the difference?
I will take your encouragement and try to reach out to my local Group and have a chat ( I would still feel I’m ruining him going to someone else to talk about our relationship – betrayal) but at this point I cannot go on anymore! Thank you for your reply sending love your way x*x
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