any advice please.

[peachycuteness1]

So I started to see someone a few months ago, and could say I caught feelings quickly. I was abit scared due to my dv relationship but wanted to try leave it in the past.
Me and this guy I started to see, we were good. Really got on, shared the same interests. Thought he was perfect. As time went by, started to see him change a little. The first incident was when he wanted to cut my sons hair, but I didn’t want him too. He started kicking off, began calling me names, calling me a tramp, saying that he feels bad for my son that he has me as a mother…everything. I hate confrontation and shouting, cus it triggers past trauma. It made me feel horrible. He left as I told him to leave due to my son witnessing him shout. He apologised, said he just wanted to push me away because we have a big age gap. (detail removed by moderator) Everything was fine again, then he would just make me feel like c**p, idk whether it’s intentional, but he’d go on how “I could be 10/10 if I went to the gym etc”. Then comes Christmas , I invited him round my families house, everything was fine – he just seemed off with me. I kept going up to him asking if he wants to leave , to just let me know. (detail removed by moderator) I followed after him and sat next to him. He said “I’m going home, do you want to come with me?” I said ok, let me get my things. He said “actually no leave it”. He told me to check my phone, he said it’s over. I got my stuff and left. Long story short , he accused me of being an inbred. Idk why or how, that what upsets me the most. Calls me all the names under the sun…I forgive him after he apologised. Then the other day, I woke up & went in the shower as I had work. I came back into him packing his things. I asked what’s it about? He starts shouting about some male texting me phone, I check the text and a family friend texted me (detail removed by moderator) I showed him the text, he didn’t listen. He starts shouting, I ask him to stop as I have a son. My son wakes up and comes into the room, as my son comes into the room he pushes me on the bed and breaks it. (detail removed by moderator) comes back into my room and slaps me across my face. & keeps saying that he should batter me right now. And lifts his arm up as if he’s going to punch me. I was horrified. & I just think will this relationship turn sour? I think I just need advice because I love him, but don’t want to make the same mistake again. I thought I was strong enough, I need to leave now otherwise I’ll end up back in a mess. I just need reassurance, is it my fault? He twists it and makes me feel bad, is it my fault? Is it me? Or is he just another man that’s abusive?

[Marmalade]

Thus is not you, it is him. He is very abusive and a danger to you. He is also a danger to your son as your son is witnessing the abuse and so would now be classed as a victim of abuse himself.
I can’t work out if he has moved in with you. If so, please take steps to get him out. You can apply for a non molestation order and occupation order.
You could report him to the police for assault.
If he does not live with you but has a key, can you change the locks to keep him out.
This man sounds as though he is getting worse and is very abusive. Both you and your son deserve better.
None of this is your fault.

[peachycuteness1]

Thank you, he hasn’t really moved in as such but stays here every night. He doesn’t keep anything here though. I’ve already got a non mol with my baby dad, and I wanted to phone the police for assault but I just can’t go through it all again. So I’m just going to get rid of him.
Thank you for the advice. I already knew it but just wanted reassurance you know.

[StrongLife]

Sorry you had to deal with this. It’s clearly him and start of abusive behaviours including name calling, degrading and physical abuse in front of your child. Checking your phone and jealously over nothing is abusive.

Good on you for avoiding a potential danger.

[Author]

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