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I’d be grateful for any tips/sugfestiobs for keeping emotionally afloat when you can’t just pack a bag and leave? It’s probably going to be months if not over a year before I’m really free. It’s the exhaustion and not being able to talj to anyone that’s hardest.
last night he pretty much opted out of helping. Leaving me juggling both my learning disabled kid’s care. No point asking him for help as he’d have got stroppy and that would have tipped my youngest’s behaviour into aggression targeted at me. Stuck between a rock and a hard place….
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Hi Primroseyellow.
I’m sorry to hear you are struggling.
Especially sorry to hear you are not in a position to leave right now.
Please feel free to private message me if you need to talk. I don’t have kids but I left my abusive partner not long ago so understand how hard it is to leave.
What is it that prevents you from leaving now?
Between now and you leaving you need to take care of your well-being. Have you tried mindfulness exercises? I found these very helpful.
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Thanks for the reply,
I can’t leave until care arrangements for my disabled kids are sorted. I’ve been swimming and to yoga. It’s hardest at the times I need support, like when my youngest is challenging and likely to attack me and he’s either opting out or behaving unhelpfully, they are really tough; I just don’t know how long it’s going to take to sort everything out, a lot depends on funding panel decisions, the social worker makes the application, not me, and it’s a different bit of the council to disabled children’s services.
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I agree with laughing girl. I am still in my relationship so my coping strategies are: staying out of the house for as long as I can, not going downstairs when the children are asleep, making sure I have everything upstairs that I need, agree with everything, don’t bite back with retorts which escalates the situation, tell him what he wants to hear, keep a diary and write it all down. I take berocca to help with the emotional exhaustion, listen to empowering songs sia alive, bird set free, kasha praying, watch things that make me happy/laugh, spend time with my babies trying to be normal. Good luck hun x*x
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I too had to stay too for a long while (detail removed by Moderator). I would agree with the other ladies’ suggestions all very good. Also try and up your self-care, easier said than done when living with an abuser. Try and get to bed early so you can rest. Cook only simple meals. Simplify everything. Eat as well as you can to keep up your strength. Come on here every day even if it is to read only one post, this will keep up your strength. Post to us as often as you need to get out your anger, frustration, exhaustion and when feeling weak and low. Also try and go minimal contact without him knowing. For example if he’s in a room, choose to be in another room. You have control of how you move. You can choose how long and how much you want to be around him up to a point. Minimize contact as much as you can. Where he is you be somewhere else. He’s in the garden, you be in the kitchen. He’s in the kitchen, then into the bathroom for respite. It will soon become habit to avoid him. I had to do this. Its only a temporary solution but can help prevent you from reaching breaking point whilst living with him.
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Hi primroseyellow you can private message me if u like.. ive 3 autistic sons xx
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