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    • #9153

      After several weeks of horrible verbal and emotional abuse and cruel behaviour, my abuser has called down he always looks different when he does and is very quiet and as I see feeling sorry for himself. Nothing is ever discussed as to what he has put me through When he changes I always have ben drawn in to him once again as to have peace and not the ongoing hatred form him is better for me as Im stuck with him at present, due to my disabilites
      But its like all of the horrible abuse has stoppd and I have lost contct with it in my mind I feel drawn into conversation with him almost out of my own control , is this trauma bonding.
      Am I dissociating from it, I feel very physically exhuasted and sick and anxiety realy bad, don’t feel I can face people and cant be bothered much with myself , makeup , jewellery just doing the bear minimum to look respectable, it like al of my feelings are supressed from what has happened. Anyone else go through this cycle time an time again.

    • #9173

      Hi Hun

      Yes this is never ending cycle that we get pulled into them that’s why no contact is so important, just look at them as a drug that we r not allowed to touch or be near, is really the only way i keep myself away, any contact with my ex leaves my tummy in knotts out of tension,i go through the pattern of missing him again even though he clearly enjoys letting me know he would never have me back , i don’t want him back but for him to just say that unsettles me , it brings u down which is what they want, they say they don’t care to us, yes we know that but by them saying it to us they know it will hurt us

    • #9216


      I know exactly how you are feeling and right now my heart is in the being sucked back in faze and my head- thanks to this forum is trying to put a stop to the cycle and get out. Just know you are not alone, phone the helpline as they told me of local resources who have advocates and support services who could support you to get out. And keep reading the posts on here- I find it’s really helpful to keeping clear in my mind that I’m not going mad and it’s not ok to be treated like this.

    • #9248

      For years I was drawn into a cycle of emotional and nasty behaviour followed by loving nature. Things got worse and finally I got out a few months ago. Looking back, I am now trying to understand why I stayed for so long, burying my head in the sand and relishing on the good times. I was always frightened of what the future held, as I had previously been divorced and it’s not easy being on your own, trying to run a house, work, look after children. In the end, I knew in my heart although life would be difficult at least I could be independent and lead my life how I want too, mistakes and all. You are not alone by being drawn back into conversation, normal part of the cycle I can see now, as you feel anything to keep the peace.
      This forum has at least shown me there is hope, only wish I had found it whilst in the abusive relationship, for that much needed knowledge you are not alone. It was only seeing media coverage, that made me realise it was so common.
      Easier said than done but stay strong and look for a way forward for the future.

    • #9251

      Thank you for all replies, I see now its me heart pulling me back and my mind says ive had enough, by staying on here i hope to keep my mind right and not be sucked back in.

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