Anyone got experience of claires law?

[HeasvHeart]

I submitted a request weeks ago and as it’s over the 35 days I chased for a response.
A detective called me back and asked if I was still on the relationship, my answer was no. Next question, do I plan on getting back in to the relationship, my answer was I hope not.
He then said that my answers go in to his report and if I am not in the relationship or planning on getting back in to it then they might not disclose anything to me.
I tried to explain that the reason I did the request was to help me stay strong and not go back and because his ex ‘accused’ him of hitting her and he says she was crazy (I’m sure I’m the crazy one now too)…..but now I just feel like it was pointless.
X

[Twisted Sister]

Dear HeasvHeart

I just wanted to offer you support for the keeping away and commend you for your efforts to do this.

I am sorry to hear you havent had the response you want from the police.

Your reason does sound exactly why this law exists. They shouldnt be protecting him, but you. I am no expert in this atall and think that primarily they consider its for someone in a relationship or considering it.

Have you looked up the law to see the wording?

Perhaps you could think back to the worst incidents, and how you were left feeling as a result but yet also blamed? The feelings and thoughts that arise from such treatment are so harmful. This is your truth of your experience, use it to keep you safe. A safe distance Away from him.

Do keep posting and let us know how you get on.

Warmest wishes

TS

[Twisted Sister]

….i have just looked up Clares Law for you.

The police absolutely should be disclosing to youas you fall into the criteria of ‘trying to keep yourself safe’

They can disclose to third parties who know you and are concerned for your safety, and they shpuld be diclosing to the person best placed to keep you safe. Police can also self-disclose to help raise awareness to a woman at risk.

Its also reported that many women told such information still believe that their partner wouldn’t do that to them, but only to the previous partner because the partner has successfully blamed the previous woman for his abuse of her.

Please do keep a record of what you are told, and refer it to your MP if you don’t get the response you are owed.

Please keep safe and know what you know you experienced to keep you safe.

Warmest wishes

TS

[Hokeycokey]

Hi HeasvHeart

I’m new on here and I’m in a long distance relationship. He is abusive and I’m terrified of him. I now know that he has been to prison in the past for violence ( not women). My local DVS service are encouraging me to use Claires Law but i’m scared that because he lives in another county miles away that the police will somehow contact him. He hates the police and any authority and being a “grass” gets you “served up”. I tried calling them once when he was going to drive while really drunk , with his child , but he became so aggressive and threatening that I didn’t. He left and drove 200 miles. I felt so terribly guilty about his child.

like you, I’d like to know what experience people have had with Claires law and if it has helped or hindered?

I am desperate to end the relationship which is making me ill. I have plans in place but still too frightened to end things because of his likely violent reaction to me and my family.

This site and all you ladies are a real inspiration to me. I’ve only just found it but i have already become stronger. thank you

[Twisted Sister]

The police disclosing anything is all hinged on the risks involved.

Their decision-making is all based on risks but im not sure they all do it well, so notworth taking risks. Ask before anything is actioned, so you know what will happen.

There are major womens charities who dont think clares law is helpful. So look into it and weigh up the risks and benefits for you.

So glad you have found being here good for you.
Hokeycokey.

Warmest wishes

TS

[HeasvHeart]

@twistedsister thank you so much for doing that for me, you helped put me at ease.
Someone has called me today to say there is nothing to worry about but they will notify me formally once it’s all been processed.
It’s tough because when we first got together he told me the police had spoken to him after an incident where he and his ex were arguing in the street and she said he’d pushed her over. I know this might not be the kind of thing they report on but as I have called the police out, I figured they would at least mention the incident that I got them out for.
I guess they have to make a judgement call on how at risk we are and decide what to disclose.
I wasn’t expecting anything awful but I was expecting a couple of incidents that were logged but not taken further.

@hokeycokey I’m not sure if this helps you at all and all I would say is keep posting on here as the ladies are amazing and very knowledgeable. Keep safe xx

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