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    • #85609

      Just looking to see if anyone else here has been diagnosed with ADHD and has suffered abuse?

      I feel like I don’t know if my ‘traits’ and ‘behaviours’ are too blame for a lot of problems in my relationship.

    • #114224

      The post is old, but here I am. Maybe someone else is in the same situation. In my case, I’m pretty sure my traits and behaviours are not to blame. But what I can tell you, is that they give him a lot of occasions to blame and shame. I am medicated and followed by the mental health service. I do my best not to let my “chaos” overflow into the shared spaces. But I can’t help getting distracted, forgetting or not noticing things… oh and he will take the opportunity to put me down. You bet he will. It’s not even 24 hours since last time I’ve been called “stupid”, “blind”, “lacking common sense”.

    • #114226

      Maybe me too?💞 This could be why I’m like I am? My life’s like it is? I get told…I’m a difficult person to be around? By the abusive people in my life! Who I have loved, and love but don’t appear to love me back? My attention span is everywhere, I know, I can’t keep my attention focused also? I’m not diagnosed with ADHD or personality problems? But I have longtime recently diagnosed (detail removed by moderator)ptsd that probably affected/affects all my relationships? I’m guessing? But that’s not my fault. I’ll know when I finally get my Councelling? I hope!

    • #114311

      Hazydayz 💞 it could be. I found out about it later in life. It doesn’t have the kind of medical attention in adults as it has in kids, so it can be difficult to get a diagnosis. It also has symptoms that overlap other conditions, including PSTD and depression. Plus, many adults have the “non hyperactive” version of it, and may have found ways to cope and live a relatively normal life. The thing is that it takes 100 times more effort to do what to others is just normal. Unless you “overfocus”, get so immersed in something that you loose the sense of time. You may feel constantly exausted.
      I think an ADD/ADHD person is the perfect prey for an abusive person. We have a lot of characteristics that they can exploit. We are a gold mine.
      If you want to find more about ADHD you can find a lot of information online. This is just from NHS.
      I hope you get your counselling soon. PM me if you want.
      A big, huge hug 🙂

      • #114341

        Hi again Imagesha and how are you doing? Thanks for your reply and lots of info! Very interesting! Sorry, I missed seeing it till now, I’ve been a bit preoccupied in my thoughts and on here. Having a few bad days also. Sometimes, I miss seeing things? And replying sooner. But here I am now. I don’t honestly know if I have attention deficit? ADHD symptoms? I know I have a delay in taking in information sometimes? But hey! Stressed people eh! And whilst I don’t have any diagnosis for personality spectrum but I do know that I have a different way interpreting stuff compared to others sometimes! I’ve learnt that in the past!… Hense the accusations in my direction, of being a difficult person to be around? I suspect? In not communicating effectively or as they expect of me? I’m often feeling misunderstood by people, I don’t know if it’s them? Or me? So it might be there’s something going on with me? I don’t want to sound like a hypochondriac, lol but I do have a couple of other medical conditions that can cause problems with thinking. Fibrofog can be a problem with my fibromyalgia and or my diabetes head! lol can cause issues not always obvious to me, but to others! if my haemoglobin levels are out of cinque? I ramble on talking/texting fast and sounding like a mania is gripping me, I have been told! lol but I’m used to that. I guess I’m already confused since diagnosis of these conditions what’s causing what? Ptsd now too! I’m having to work out? But yep! I’m open to all possibilities! And yes, I have read that not everyone is spotted as a child with difficulties, having no assesment as adults ordinarily, people cope as they always had to? Knowing no different! without realisation? of having disorders, not being diagnosed! You have my heartfelt sympathy Imagesha! It must have been a difficult journey your life! And still! Sadly☹️ I hope your coping? Here helps? I am overactive on here a lot you might have noticed? lol I like talking! Could talk all day! lol I guess that could be my hyperactivity? But I generally think if myself as quite calm? Though I could be mistaken? Fooling myself? Dealing with the unknown? But… Hey Ho! What’s a normal day? I just keep doing what I do, trying my best to sort me? And help others along the way? Maybe? I’m certainly putting out a lot of information, that’s for sure! Lol. What is that saying…? Oh yes! Information is building blocks? Someone here? might have but themselves a safe house by now then? Lol my sense of fun running wild now…I wanted to coin the phrase… “information myway” before but resisted! lol don’t want to upset anyone!? I have a dislike of
        insensitive, know it alls? myself! lolbut my mind is running fast right now and these odd thoughts churn out of me because…I’m diabetic and not eaten breakfast yet at almost lunchtime! I suspect that it! Time for my brunch! So off I go now… Lovely talking to you Imagesha, thanks again for talking to me and yes, I would love to pm you soon. I’ll be in touch. Hope your not frightened off by my reply today? I guess I might be showing a clue? An awareness? Knowing or fearing? what it’s like? for many? Yourself included! Concerned about people’s interpretations of us? having to deal with people’s attitude to our way of being, thinking, communicating ourselves, isnt it? Enough said! Talk again soon… Take care, stay safe! & Wishing you a sunny day🌞 A happy one! Bye for now x

    • #114342

      Big hug to you too Imagesha 💞

    • #114432

      Don’t worry, I’m not frightened 🙂
      Just came back from a nightmare weekend with him. Now he is finally asleep. I will also go to bed soon, because last night he kept me awake almost all night (he was drunk).
      Good night Hazydayz x

    • #125734

      I have ADHD was diagnosed at (detail removed by Moderator) but mother refused to let them Medicare me. As I’m now a mum of two I am struggling with frustration and patience and tiredness. I was mentally abused for years among other things but now we’re in a refuge and safe but I’m on sertraline 100mg a day. Waiting for an adult assessment for ADHD so I can seek support again

    • #139305

      I’m autistic and also have adhd. I also have ptsd, anxiety, and psychosis. This is exactly how I feel most of the time! Like what is my traits and me being a nightmare an what is him! It’s so tricky to work out and I think it’s one of the reasons I can’t fully succumb or accept the fact that what I experience is abuse. Like sometimes I’m like oh my god it’s me I’m the bad guy I’m not being abused! Then the following day he will do something completely irrational and I’ll confirm with myself no I believe this is abuse! But then I’ll talk myself out of it the next day when I act mad it’s a never ending cycle!

    • #153130

      Same here, diagnosis received last year in midlife, tried strattera, didn’t agree with me, and it’s taken about 8 months to get a re-referral to try something else. If you do finally make it onto the clinic’s list, don’t let go of your spot until you get something which helps. Worst of all though has been CS discrimination towards me for displaying the traits, echoing the ex. Totally unacceptable, imo, and retraumatizing 300%. Most helpful thing I’ve learned about the condition is Emotional Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, so if you’ve ever been told you’re too sensitive, read up. And conversely, the tiniest bit of encouragement can keep me going for days, so I try to focus on anything positive that I’ve managed to complete, especially on darker days. Ps hormone fluctuations make it way worse for me.

    • #153131

      Additude.com has a lot of good articles, btw.

    • #155031

      I’m also autistic and ADHD as well as lots of other things like having anxiety and PTSD.
      I’m a survivor of abusive relationships and agree that these “invisible disabilities” can make us more vulnerable to abuse.
      I’m now in a relationship with a lovely person who doesn’t find my little ways “annoying” or “make them” do xyz. We just care for each other.

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